Marriage Breakdown

Introduction
Where a couple agrees that the marriage is over, the divorce procedure is a straightforward process. It is often the arrangements for children and assets on divorce where the parties will apply for a court order to resolve their disputes. Marriage for the whole of the UK has been declining over the last decade according to the Office of National Statistics (ONS) from 349,700 marriages in 1991 to 291,800 marriages in 2002. Over this same period the divorce statistics show the rate has remained relatively steady with 173,500 divorces in 1991 reducing to 156,800 divorces in 2001 and 160,700 in 2002.

A breakdown in a marriage does not necessarily have to lead to divorce yet this route could have a dramatic effect on the spouses relationship with their children as well as their personal finances. An alternative to divorce is judicial separation and this would slow down the process and allow mediation to reduce the conflict. In certain situations it may be possible to apply for nullity of a marriage.

There are three parts of the divorce process starting with a legal procedure to end the marriage, secondly arrangements for any children of the marriage and thirdly ancillary relief proceedings that will decide the financial matters between the couple and as the step-by-step guide shows is a separate process to the divorce proceedings. The largest asset on divorce is usually the property and different orders can be applied to the matrimonial home by the court depending on the circumstances of the parties.


Divorce [step-by-step guide]
During divorce proceedings there are two decrees that the court must grant. Initially one of the parties known as the petitioner must apply to the court for a decree nisi, however before the divorce can be made final and the marriage ends the court must grant the decree absolute. In order to apply for a decree nisi the petitioner must have been married for over one year although since 1 March 2001 to proceed in England and Wales the individual has to established the criteria of jurisdiction. This involves showing that both parties or at least one spouse has habitually resident or domiciled in England and Wales of which there are a number of combinations that are acceptable for jurisdiction.

There is also a requirement for divorce to show that the marriage has irretrievably broken down, and to do this the person must establish one of five facts as proof:

•	Adultery of the other spouse;
•	Unreasonable behaviour of the other spouse;
•	Desertion by the other spouse after two years;
•	Separation with consent after two years;
•	Separation without consent after five years.

In about 70% of cases the divorce petitioner will cite adultery or unreasonable behaviour of the person, known as the respondent, in the petition. 

If the divorce is by way of agreement between the parties, then unreasonable behaviour would require only a brief outline of the behaviour so help to avoid further conflict. At the same time as the divorce petition a statement of arrangement would be filed at the court showing the proposed arrangements for any dependent children that are under 16 years of age or in full time education.

If the divorce petition includes false allegations it would be important for these to be challenged by the respondent as they could influence future contact with children and result in costs being awarded against the respondent. In divorce proceedings there are two decrees that must be applied for to end the marriage. Once the respondent has acknowledged the divorce petition the petitioner can apply for the decree nisi. When the court receives the application, a judge will review the papers to ensure they are in order including arrangements for any children, before giving the decree nisi can be granted. 

The petitioner will now have to wait 6 weeks and one day before applying for the final decree, the decree absolute. Once this has been granted the divorce is final and the marriage ends. At this point the parties are free to marry again. In terms of ancillary relief, although occasionally the couple can agree the allocation of maintenance and division of the matrimonial assets, completed before the decree absolute is granted, often a resolution will not be achieved until after the divorce is finalised and the step-by-step guide shows how this separate legal process works.


Judicial separation
In judicial separation proceedings the partner will obtain from the court a decree of judicial separation and this means a legal separation of the partners although they will still be married but not have to live together. This is different from divorce where the decree nisi followed by the decree absolute is required before the proceedings are final. 

A decree of judicial separation will only be granted, as with a divorce petition, on the grounds that the marriage has irretrievably broken down. The partner must prove:

•	Adultery of the other partner;
•	Unreasonable behaviour of the other partner;
•	Desertion by the other partner after two years;
•	Separation with consent after two years;
•	Separation without consent after five years.

As with nullity, judicial separation can be granted within 12 months of the marriage. However, before the court grants a decree of judicial separation it will have to establish that the arrangements the partners have made for the children, if any, are acceptable to the court.

Judicial separation will allow the partners to apply for a court order to settle disputes of children, matrimonial property or financial matters during ancillary relief proceedings.

For ancillary relief proceedings an earmarking order against the members pension rights within a pension arrangement of the other partner, however, a pension sharing order will only apply to divorce or nullity.


Nullity
A marriage can be annulled if for any reason it is not valid and this can be done by the presentation of a nullity petition. Once the court has issued the partner a decree of nullity, there are no further requirements to end the marriage as with divorce which requires the decree nisi followed by the decree absolute. It would then be possible to apply for a court order settling disputes over children, matrimonial assets or financial matters during ancillary relief proceedings including the granting of a pension sharing order or earmarking order against the members pension rights from a pension arrangement of a partner. 

A marriage can be annulled where:

•	It has not been consummated, that is where partners have not had sex while being married;
•	The partners are inter-married, meaning a marriage of close relatives;
•	At the time of the marriage one of the partners was already married to someone else;
•	One of the partners was under the age of 16 at the time of the marriage;
•	A partner at the time of the marriage had a venereal disease and the other partner was not aware of this at the time;
•	The partner at the time of marriage was pregnant with another persons child which the other partner was not aware of at that time.

As with judicial separation a presentation for nullity can be granted within 12 months of the marriage but must be presented within a reasonable time.


Arrangements for children
At the time of the petition for divorce, the petitioner and respondent will have to agree as to the arrangements for the children. This should be shown in the statement of arrangements for any children under 16 years of age or in full time employment, although if agreement is not reached it will not prevent the divorce from proceeding to the next stage. 

The parties are obligated to maintain their children until they cease to be dependent and this is a responsibility that cannot be brought to an end. In term of the financial matters the Child Support Agency can be expected to try to obtain maintenance from the former spouse, usually the husband, for the children even if the parent responsible for the children declines to claim for maintenance. It is worth noting that children themselves have the right to apply for maintenance. 

In most circumstances the court would have regard to achieving a clean break for a couple on divorce. However, this may not be desired where a wife with responsibility for the children has no source of income yet the husband is a high earner. In this case the court would seek a continued link through an order for continuing maintenance.


Future procedure
The current law for couples in England and Wales is based on the principle of fault based divorce, meaning that the petitioner is married for at least one year and is required to prove one fact from five that the marriage has irretrievably broken down. The Family Law Act 1996 (FLA 96) would bring significant changes by introducing, in part II, no fault divorce. 

This means that no grounds will have to be shown as to why the marriage has irretrievably broken down by the petitioner when submitting a divorce petition. The Act would promote mediation, which is designed to reduce acrimony between the parties. Information meetings would allow for this mediation and a statement of marital breakdown would be produced 3 months after and once submitted to the court, this would mark the start of divorce proceedings.

A period of reflection would then start and last 9 months after which time both parties could then apply for divorce or judicial separation. In December 2000 the government announced that the FLA 96 would, in part, be postponed probably for several years.

How to Survive Infidelity

The question I am most frequently asked by visitors to this web site is "how can I survive my spouse's affair?" After having counseled thousands of couples with hundreds of marital conflicts, I am completely convinced that a spouse's unfaithfulness is the most painful experience that can be inflicted in marriage. Those I've counseled who have Infidelity Video Click to watch had the tragic misfortune of having experienced rape, physical abuse, sexual abuse of their children, and infidelity have consistently reported to me that their spouse's unfaithfulness was their very worst experience. To be convinced of the devastating impact of infidelity, you only need to go through it once. And yet, more than 50% of all spouses are victims of infidelity, which means that one spouse in most marriages will suffer the greatest marital pain possible at some time during their lifetimes. It's no wonder that I receive so many letters from these victims of unfaithfulness. Coping with Infidelity, Part 1: How Do Affairs Begin? Affairs usually begin with an attraction to someone you know fairly well, someone you spend time with each week -- your friends or co-workers. To illustrate how affairs develop, I post letters from two women, one who is tempted to have an affair with her husband's best friend, and another whose best friend had an affair with her husband. Coping with Infidelity, Part 2: How Should Affairs End? There are three parts to the way affairs should end. The first part is revealing the affair to one's spouse, the second part is never seeing or communicating with the lover again, and the third part is getting through the symptoms of withdrawal after a permanent separation takes place. I post two letters to illustrate these three parts to how an affair should end. Coping with Infidelity, Part 3: Restoring the Marital Relationship. Since an affair does not usually end the way it should, with complete separation from the lover, you may not find this column entirely relevant to you. In your case, your spouse's lover may still be a factor, and you will want to know how to restore your marital relationship with your spouse's lover standing in the wings. If you are in that position, I have addressed that topic in two other columns that I review below: "What to Do with an Unfaithful Husband" and "What to Do with an Unfaithful Wife." In short, it's hard enough to restore a martial relationship when a lover is finally out of the picture. But it's impossible when the lover is still hanging around. Coping with Infidelity, Part 4: Overcoming Resentment. You might think that after a husband and wife rebuild their love for each other after an affair, all would be forgiven. Well, all might be forgiven, but all's not forgotten. In fact, many couples find that the memory of the affair haunts them decades after it happened. I post three letters to illustrate what a problem resentment is for many people, and I explain how to handle it so that it doesn't ruin a successful recovery. Four Rules to Guide Marital Recovery After an Affair. After the lover is finally gone and you are ready to restore love to your marriage, where should you begin? This column explains the rules I suggest for couples recovering from an affair. Technically, they are the very rules that I recommend in any marriage, because they guarantee mutual love when they are followed. What to Do with an Unfaithful Husband. Altogether, this column contains five letters and my responses to them, written by women who have recently discovered their husband's unfaithfulness. There is some redundancy in the questions and answers, but if you have suffered from your husband's infidelity, you will want to gain from the experience of as many other people as possible. What to Do with an Unfaithful Wife. As with the unfaithful husband column, five letters from husbands, and my responses to them, are posted. Escaping the Jaws of Infidelity: How to Avoid an Affair. There are many of you who are having an affair, but want to know how to get out of it in one piece. And then there are even more of you who want to know how to avoid it in the first place. In this column I post letters from two women who are having affairs and want out of the mess they've created. I also address the issue of avoiding the mess in the first place by protecting your spouse from your unfaithful predisposition. We all have it, you know -- a predisposition to be unfaithful. Given certain conditions, we can all have affairs, destroying the happiness of our spouse, our children, our extended families, our lover, and ourselves. Those conditions should be avoided at all costs, don't you think? The Lover's Perspective on Infidelity. The spouses of those who have affairs are not the only victims of infidelity. The lovers can also be victims. This column addresses the anguish experienced by women who present the lover's perspective. How Can I recover My Sexual Desire for My Husband After My Affair? A column somewhat related to the lover's perspective, this column treats the issue of sexual recovery for the one who had the affair, but now wants to restore passion to her marriage. Infidelity on the Internet. I receive an alarming number of letters each week by those whose spouses have fallen in love with someone on the internet. This form of infidelity is particularly common among those who have become addicted to internet communication. You know who you are. If your spouse wants you to leave the computer and come to bed, and you say, "just a minute," you're one of them. Can't We Just Forgive and Forget? Infidelity is a devastating experience. And yet, most couples who go though it recover. How do they overcome the horrible memories of an affair after reconciliation? In this column, I explain my controversial position that "just compensation" is more reasonable than forgiveness when it comes to infidelity. What to Do When You (or Your Spouse) Become Pregnant with a Lover's Child. Infidelity has tragic consequences. Not only does unfaithfulness itself cause untold emotional suffering for a victimized spouse, but affairs create a host of other problems, too. One example of these problems is venereal disease -- when an unfaithful spouse is infected, which is often the case, the disease is usually passed on to the unsuspecting marriage partner. Another example is the topic of this Q&A column -- pregnancy with a lover's child. This column considers the choices these women face, and what I recommend. Their husbands also have hard choices to make, and my advice is for them, too.

Most Popular Links • The Marriage Builders� Discussion Forum • How to Survive Infidelity • The Most Important Emotional Needs • Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts • Coping with Infidelity: Part 1 - How Do Affairs Begin? • A Summary of Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts • Love Busters • The Emotional Needs Questionnaire • Q&A Columns

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Home Affairs Committee publishes report on Forced Marriage

Forced Marriage

17 May 2011

In a report published today, the Home Affairs Committee criticises the lack of progress made by successive Government towards addressing the concerns raised by its predecessor Committee in 2008.

Forced marriage remains an issue that affects thousands of young people in the UK—the Committee welcomes the fact that more at-risk individuals are coming forward to seek help but warns that there is insufficient support available to them, and that this situation is set to worsen with many specialist services particularly at risk from spending cuts.

• Report: Forced Marriage
• Home Affairs Committee

The Committee is pleased with the relatively high take-up of Forced Marriage Protection Orders—293 issued between November 2008 and February 2011—but disappointed at a lack of agency follow-up to ensure compliance. In the rare instances where breaches are discovered, not enough action is taken, with only one individual jailed. It recommends that the Government, while maintaining this civil route, also criminalises forced marriage, as the Prime Minister promised to consider while in Opposition. This would send a stronger message that forced marriage will not be tolerated.
Our predecessors found that many school authorities were reluctant to take action to protect their pupils against forced marriage, in part because they feared accusations of racism. Evidence to the Committee suggests this situation has not changed: it therefore urges the Secretary of State to take a more pro-active approach to remind schools of their statutory responsibilities on an annual basis and make use of the inspection regime to improve performance.
The Committee has repeatedly raised the plight of estranged or abused partners who are under pressure from their families to sign a request for their spouses to have indefinite leave to remain in the UK, or who simply want to be kept informed of the progress of their spouse’s application, but are refused this information by the UK Border Agency because of data protection. During its inquiry, the Information Commission confirmed that there are situations in which data protection considerations can legitimately be overridden and the Committee therefore urges the UK Border Agency to encourage staff to use their discretion in these kinds of cases.
Rt. Hon Keith Vaz, Chairman of the Committee said:

"Forced Marriage is a serious issue that affects some of the most vulnerable individuals in the UK. I am very disappointed that progress on protection and awareness remains slow. I am also concerned that a loss of specialist support services due to spending cuts will stunt further progress.

We believe that the best way to deter people from forcing individuals into marriage is through criminalising forced marriage. Taking this bold step alongside providing a range of services supporting victims of violence and raising awareness in schools must be a priority for the Government. There should be zero tolerance of this harmful activity that ruins the lives of so many."

Further Information

• About Parliament: Select Committees
• Topics: Marriage