How to Survive Infidelity

The question I am most frequently asked by visitors to this web site is "how can I survive my spouse's affair?" After having counseled thousands of couples with hundreds of marital conflicts, I am completely convinced that a spouse's unfaithfulness is the most painful experience that can be inflicted in marriage. Those I've counseled who have Infidelity Video Click to watch had the tragic misfortune of having experienced rape, physical abuse, sexual abuse of their children, and infidelity have consistently reported to me that their spouse's unfaithfulness was their very worst experience. To be convinced of the devastating impact of infidelity, you only need to go through it once. And yet, more than 50% of all spouses are victims of infidelity, which means that one spouse in most marriages will suffer the greatest marital pain possible at some time during their lifetimes. It's no wonder that I receive so many letters from these victims of unfaithfulness. Coping with Infidelity, Part 1: How Do Affairs Begin? Affairs usually begin with an attraction to someone you know fairly well, someone you spend time with each week -- your friends or co-workers. To illustrate how affairs develop, I post letters from two women, one who is tempted to have an affair with her husband's best friend, and another whose best friend had an affair with her husband. Coping with Infidelity, Part 2: How Should Affairs End? There are three parts to the way affairs should end. The first part is revealing the affair to one's spouse, the second part is never seeing or communicating with the lover again, and the third part is getting through the symptoms of withdrawal after a permanent separation takes place. I post two letters to illustrate these three parts to how an affair should end. Coping with Infidelity, Part 3: Restoring the Marital Relationship. Since an affair does not usually end the way it should, with complete separation from the lover, you may not find this column entirely relevant to you. In your case, your spouse's lover may still be a factor, and you will want to know how to restore your marital relationship with your spouse's lover standing in the wings. If you are in that position, I have addressed that topic in two other columns that I review below: "What to Do with an Unfaithful Husband" and "What to Do with an Unfaithful Wife." In short, it's hard enough to restore a martial relationship when a lover is finally out of the picture. But it's impossible when the lover is still hanging around. Coping with Infidelity, Part 4: Overcoming Resentment. You might think that after a husband and wife rebuild their love for each other after an affair, all would be forgiven. Well, all might be forgiven, but all's not forgotten. In fact, many couples find that the memory of the affair haunts them decades after it happened. I post three letters to illustrate what a problem resentment is for many people, and I explain how to handle it so that it doesn't ruin a successful recovery. Four Rules to Guide Marital Recovery After an Affair. After the lover is finally gone and you are ready to restore love to your marriage, where should you begin? This column explains the rules I suggest for couples recovering from an affair. Technically, they are the very rules that I recommend in any marriage, because they guarantee mutual love when they are followed. What to Do with an Unfaithful Husband. Altogether, this column contains five letters and my responses to them, written by women who have recently discovered their husband's unfaithfulness. There is some redundancy in the questions and answers, but if you have suffered from your husband's infidelity, you will want to gain from the experience of as many other people as possible. What to Do with an Unfaithful Wife. As with the unfaithful husband column, five letters from husbands, and my responses to them, are posted. Escaping the Jaws of Infidelity: How to Avoid an Affair. There are many of you who are having an affair, but want to know how to get out of it in one piece. And then there are even more of you who want to know how to avoid it in the first place. In this column I post letters from two women who are having affairs and want out of the mess they've created. I also address the issue of avoiding the mess in the first place by protecting your spouse from your unfaithful predisposition. We all have it, you know -- a predisposition to be unfaithful. Given certain conditions, we can all have affairs, destroying the happiness of our spouse, our children, our extended families, our lover, and ourselves. Those conditions should be avoided at all costs, don't you think? The Lover's Perspective on Infidelity. The spouses of those who have affairs are not the only victims of infidelity. The lovers can also be victims. This column addresses the anguish experienced by women who present the lover's perspective. How Can I recover My Sexual Desire for My Husband After My Affair? A column somewhat related to the lover's perspective, this column treats the issue of sexual recovery for the one who had the affair, but now wants to restore passion to her marriage. Infidelity on the Internet. I receive an alarming number of letters each week by those whose spouses have fallen in love with someone on the internet. This form of infidelity is particularly common among those who have become addicted to internet communication. You know who you are. If your spouse wants you to leave the computer and come to bed, and you say, "just a minute," you're one of them. Can't We Just Forgive and Forget? Infidelity is a devastating experience. And yet, most couples who go though it recover. How do they overcome the horrible memories of an affair after reconciliation? In this column, I explain my controversial position that "just compensation" is more reasonable than forgiveness when it comes to infidelity. What to Do When You (or Your Spouse) Become Pregnant with a Lover's Child. Infidelity has tragic consequences. Not only does unfaithfulness itself cause untold emotional suffering for a victimized spouse, but affairs create a host of other problems, too. One example of these problems is venereal disease -- when an unfaithful spouse is infected, which is often the case, the disease is usually passed on to the unsuspecting marriage partner. Another example is the topic of this Q&A column -- pregnancy with a lover's child. This column considers the choices these women face, and what I recommend. Their husbands also have hard choices to make, and my advice is for them, too.

Most Popular Links • The Marriage Builders� Discussion Forum • How to Survive Infidelity • The Most Important Emotional Needs • Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts • Coping with Infidelity: Part 1 - How Do Affairs Begin? • A Summary of Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts • Love Busters • The Emotional Needs Questionnaire • Q&A Columns

Getting married

This information applies to England, Wales and Northern Ireland

• Who can get married
• Getting engaged
• Where can a marriage take place
• How to marry
• Marrying outside England, Wales and Northern Ireland
• Marrying in England or Wales if one partner lives elsewhere
• Overseas recognition of United Kingdom marriages
• Marriages by proxy
• Polygamous marriages
• Marriages which are not valid
• Making a marriage legally valid
• Bigamy
• Remarriage/second marriage
• Blessing ceremonies
• Forced marriages

Who can get married

According to the law of the United Kingdom, a man and a woman may marry if they are both 16 years or over and free to marry, that is, if they are single, widowed or divorced, or if they were in a civil partnership which has been dissolved.
In the United Kingdom people cannot marry if they are:-

• aged 16 or 17 who do not have parental consent - see below
• people of the same sex. However, a same-sex couple can register a civil partnership instead, which will give the partners many, if not all, the rights of married couples. For transsexual people, the relevant gender is the one on their current birth certificate – see below
• certain relatives - see below.

Young people

If you are 16 or 17 you cannot marry without parental consent. Each parent with parental responsibility is entitled to give parental consent. In some circumstances, other people may give parental consent. In Northern Ireland a young person under 18 cannot marry without the consent of certain people.
For more information about who can give parental consent, you should consult an experienced adviser, for example, at a Citizens Advice Bureau. To search for details of your nearest CAB, including those that can give advice by email, click on nearest CAB.

Transsexual people

A transsexual person who has applied for and has been granted a full gender recognition certificate by the Gender Recognition Panel can get a new birth certificate which reflects their acquired gender. They will then be able to marry someone of the opposite gender to their acquired gender. However, if a transsexual person does not have a gender recognition certificate, they are legally considered to be the gender that is on their original birth certificate. They will not be able to marry someone of the opposite gender to their acquired gender.
For more information about getting a gender recognition certificate, see Frequently asked questions about family matters.

Relatives who may not marry

The following people cannot marry, in any circumstances, because of their blood relationship.

Men cannot marry:-	Women cannot marry:-
Grandmother	Grandfather
Mother	Father
mother's sister	father's brother
mother's half sister	father's half brother
father's sister	mother's brother
father's half-sister	mother's half-brother
adoptive mother - see below	apdoptive father - see below
Sister	Brother
half-sister	half-brother
Daughter	Son
adoptive daughter - see below	adpoted son - see below
sister's daughter	sister's son
half-sister's daughter	half-sister's son
brother's daughter	brother's son
half-brother's daughter	half-brother's son
Granddaughter	Grandson

Adopted children and their genetic parents and genetic grandparents may not marry. If they do, the marriage will be automatically void (see under heading Marriages which are not valid) even if they do not know they are related. Adopted children may not marry their adoptive parents but they are allowed to marry the rest of their adoptive family, including their adoptive brother or sister.
People who are step relations or in-laws may marry only in certain circumstances.
For information about when step relations and in-laws can marry, you should consult an experienced adviser, for example, at a Citizens Advice Bureau. To search for details of your nearest CAB, including those that can give advice by email, click on nearest CAB.
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Getting engaged

Engagements are mainly for cultural reasons and have limited status. However, they can be used, for example, in immigration law as evidence of intention to marry.
One of the parties can decide to end an engagement as an agreement to marry cannot be legally enforced. If an engagement is broken, a woman can keep the engagement ring unless, at the time she was given it, the man specifically said that it should be returned if the engagement were broken. Any other property belonging to the couple should be divided between them in the same way as property would be divided if the couple divorced. If the couple cannot agree about entitlement to property, either person can apply to a court to decide the issue, provided this is done within three years of the end of the engagement. Legal advice will be needed in these circumstances.
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Where can a marriage take place

A marriage can take place in:-

• a Register Office
• a church of the Church of England, Church in Wales, Church of Ireland, Presbyterian or Roman Catholic Church in N. Ireland
• a synagogue or any other private place if both partners are Jewish
• a Meeting House if one or both partners are either members of the Society of Friends or are associated with the Society by attending meetings
• any other religious building provided that the person marrying the couple is registered by the Registrar General - see under  Religious marriage ceremonies (England and Wales only)
• premises approved by the local authority - see under Religious marriage ceremonies (England and Wales only)
• a place where one partner is seriously ill and not expected to recover
• the home of one of the partners if the partner is housebound, for example, has serious disabilities or is agoraphobic
• a hospital, if one of the partners is unable to leave or is detained there as a psychiatric inpatient
• a prison, if one partner is a prisoner.

Local authority approved premises (England and Wales only)

Local authorities in England and Wales may approve premises other than Register Offices where civil marriages may take place. Applications for approval must be made by the owner or trustee of the building, not the couple.
The premises must be regularly open to members of the public, so private homes are unlikely to be approved, since they are not normally open to the public. Stately homes, hotels and civic buildings are likely to be thought suitable. Approval will not be given for open air venues, such as moonlit beaches or golf courses. Generally, the premises will need to be permanent built structures, although it may be possible for approval to be given to a permanently moored, publicly open boat. Hot air balloons or aeroplanes will not be approved.
If you want to get married in local authority approved premises you should obtain a list of premises from the local town hall. Or you can search for approved premises on the General Register Office's website at: www.gro.gov.uk.
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How to marry

You can get married by a civil ceremony or a religious ceremony.
In both cases, the following legal requirements must be met:-

• the marriage must be conducted by a person or in the presence of a person authorised to register marriages in the district
• the marriage must be entered in the marriage register and signed by both parties, two witnesses, the person who conducted the ceremony and, if that person is not authorised to register marriages, the person who is registering the marriage.

Civil marriage ceremonies

You and your partner must give notice of marriage in your local Register Office, whether or not you wish to marry in that district. The Superintendent Registrar or Registrar in Northern Ireland then issues authority for the marriage and you may marry in any Register Office or local authority approved premises in any district.
If either you or your partner is from overseas, special rules may apply when giving notice to marry. If so, you should consult an experienced adviser, for example, at a Citizens Advice Bureau. To search for details of your nearest CAB, including those that can give advice by e-mail, click on nearest CAB.
In the period between the notice of intention to marry and the ceremony, anyone with strong grounds for objecting to the marriage can do so. Making a false statement is a criminal offence.
In England and Wales, both partners must be resident in England or Wales for seven days before notice is given (on the eighth day). A notice must state where the marriage is to take place. The marriage can then take place after 15 days have elapsed from the date on which notice of the marriage is entered in the marriage notice book. The fee for giving notice of the marriage is £33.50 per person. There is no requirement for the 15 day notice period if the one of the partners has been issued with a gender recognition certificate and was previously the civil partner of the person who they wish to marry. In this case, notice of the marriage and the marriage itself can happen on the same day.
In Northern Ireland, a marriage licence is called a marriage schedule. Couples do not need to have been resident in the country before getting married, provided they apply for notice from the General Register Office.
If you and your partner are visiting Northern Ireland to be married and are citizens of a country that is not a member of the European Economic Area, you may need to enclose special documentation.
Couples must submit their completed marriage notice forms and any other relevant documents to the Registrar of Marriages in the district where the marriage is to take place.
It is normal to give eight weeks notice. However, you can give a minimum of 14 days notice, although this may mean that the wedding ceremony will have to be postponed. The registrar will issue a marriage schedule. You won't be able to get married without this. If you are having a religious ceremony, this must take place within 14 days of receiving the schedule. In addition to this, the schedule must be signed at the religious ceremony by the person performing the marriage.
The marriage must take place within 12 months from the date of entry of the notice (three months if one of you is housebound, detained or resident in Scotland or Northern Ireland). If the marriage does not take place within that time, the process must be repeated.

Procedure for marrying

You and your partner will be asked for certain information when giving notice of your intention to marry. Giving false information is a criminal offence. The information which may be required is:-

• evidence of name and address
• evidence of date of birth
• if one partner has been married before or in a civil partnership, documentary evidence that the marriage or civil partnership has ended, for example, a death certificate or decree absolute. Uncertified photocopies are not accepted. A certified copy of a decree absolute may be obtained from the court which decided the divorce. This can take about a week
• evidence of nationality.

A variety of documents can be used as evidence of the information required, but a passport, travel document or birth certificate is usually sufficient. You should contact the register office where you're getting married for more specific advice on what they will accept.
People from overseas may be asked to show their passports. There is no legal requirement to show a passport before getting married and instead, they can produce a birth certificate (accompanied by a certified translation if necessary), an affidavit or other personal identity document.
If you are travelling to the UK to marry either a British citizen or an EEA national, you will need a visa. This is called entry clearance).  This will be either a fiancé(e) visa if you are not an EEA national or an EEA Family Permit if you are an EEA national.
People who wish to marry in the UK in a Register office in England and Wales must give notice at a Register Office. If you are subject to immigration control, you can only give notice at a Designated Register Office in England and Wales. In Scotland and N Ireland, notice is given by post.  Everyone wishing to marry in a Register Office must provide proof of their nationality.
You are subject to Immigration Control if you are not:

• a British citizen (or someone with right of abode in the UK) or
• an EEA national or
• don't have any conditions attached to your stay in the UK because you are for example, a diplomat, or a member of visiting armed forces.

For more information on coming to the UK to marry, go to the UK Border Agency website at www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk.
If the registrar believes that a person is entering or has entered into a marriage for immigration purposes, the registrar has a duty to report this to the Home Office Border and Immigration Agency. The registrar must provide the Home Office Border and Immigration Agency with certain information, including the marital status and nationality of the person.
The marriage ceremony in the local Register Office or local authority approved premises will take approximately 10-15 minutes. The Superintendent Registrar or Registrar in Northern Ireland will make a short statement about marriage; you can ask the registrar beforehand to indicate what form of words will be used. It is not possible to use religious words in the civil ceremony. However, the ceremony may include readings, songs or music that contain reference to a god as long as they are in an 'essentially non-religious context'.
Each partner is required to repeat a standard set of promises. These may not be changed, but may be added to, as long as the additions are not religious. Rings are not required but can be exchanged if the couple wishes to.
After the ceremony, the marriage register is signed by both partners. Two witnesses, who must be over 16, must also sign at the time of the marriage. Witnesses must understand the language of the ceremony and have the mental capacity to understand the nature of the ceremony. Register Office staff are not allowed to act as witnesses.
Before signing the register, you should check the information in the entry is correct. It is possible to get incorrect information in the register on marriage certificates changed if there is proof that the errors were notified at the time of the marriage. When trying to correct information at a later stage, you will have to explain in writing how the incorrect information came to be recorded at the time of the marriage and may need to provide documentary evidence to prove any statements. The process may take a long time.
A fee must be paid for the ceremony. A certified copy of the entry in the register may be obtained at the time of the marriage for a fee. Additional copies may be obtained for a further fee.
For details of the fees, contact your local Register Office or Citizens Advice Bureau. To search for details of your local CAB, including those that can give e-mail advice, click on nearest CAB.

Religious marriage ceremonies (England and Wales only)

The Church of England and the Church in Wales are allowed to register a marriage at the same time as performing the religious ceremony.
Ministers and priests of all other religions can be authorised to register marriages and must have a certificate or licence to do so from the local Superintendent Registrar. For Jewish and Quaker marriages, the authorisation is automatic. For all other religions, if the official performing the ceremony is not authorised, either a Registrar must attend the religious ceremony or the partners will need to have separate religious and civic ceremonies.

Marriages in the Church of England and Church in Wales

Instead of going to the Superintendent Registrar before the ceremony, banns (a notice of the proposed marriage) can be read in the parish church of each of the partners and in the church where it has been agreed the marriage can take place. Banns must be read on three Sundays before the ceremony.
In England, in some cases, the vicar may advise that you need to apply to the Church of England for a licence instead of using the banns procedure. You can find out more about getting married in the Church of England on the Church of England website at www.yourchurchwedding.org.

Religious marriage ceremonies in Northern Ireland

Church of Ireland

You can be married in the Church of Ireland by one of three methods. These are:-
Licence – If you or your partner is a member of the Church of Ireland (or any other Protestant Episcopal Church i.e. Anglican), you may give notice to a Church of Ireland licensing minister that you wish to be married in a Church of Ireland church within your own district. Either you or your partner must have been living in the district for seven days before notice is given. The licenser will notify the clergy of the churches that you and your partner attend. Seven days after the licenser is notified, an oath will be administered to either you or your partner to the effect that one of you has lived for the past fourteen days within the district attached to the Church in which you intend to marry, and grant the licence. Any Church of Ireland clergyman will be able to provide you with the address of a licensing minister.
Special licence – If you or your partner is a member of the Church of Ireland (or any other Protestant Episcopal Church), a Bishop of the Church of Ireland may grant a special licence. This will allow the marriage to take place at any time and any place within his diocese. A special licence is useful where you and your partner have forgotten to give the required notice to a licenser, or wish to marry somewhere other than a church
Banns – If both you and your partner are members of the Church of Ireland, banns may be read out for three consecutive Sundays in the churches of which they are members, instead of applying for a licence. Seven days notice to the minister(s) may be required. The marriage ceremony must take place in the church (or one of the churches) in which the banns have been published.

Presbyterian

You may be married by the same three methods in the various Presbyterian churches (excluding Free Presbyterians):-
Licence – If both you or your partner is Presbyterian, a licence may be granted by a licensing minister. You or your partner must give the licencing minister a certificate from the minister of your congregation, stating you have been a member of that congregation for at least one month. Immediately before the licence is granted, you must make an Oath that you have lived within the Presbytery for the preceding 15 days. A congregational minister will able to put clients in touch with a licensing minister.
Special licence – A special licence authorising marriage at any time and any place within Ireland may be granted by the Moderator of the Church, as long as you or your partner is a Presbyterian. This method is useful if you have forgotten to give the necessary notice or have your normal residence outside Northern Ireland.
Banns – If both you and your partner are Presbyterians, banns may be published in each of your congregations on the three Sundays preceding the marriage, instead of obtaining a licence. Six days notice is required by the minister before the banns are due to be read out for the first time. The marriage must take place in a church (or one of the churches) in which the banns have been published.

Roman Catholic Church

Arrangements for a wedding in a Catholic Church are always made through the priest in the parish in which you are living. Three months notice must be given to the priest.
Pre-marriage preparation courses, which you and your partner must attend, are held by Accord, formerly the Catholic Marriage Advisory Council (CMAC). There are centres in Belfast, Ballymena and Downpatrick. Details of the courses will be available to the priest.
If you are both Catholics you should approach the priest of the bride's parish to arrange a date. If you are both from the same parish, the priest in that parish does the preparations for you both, including the pre-nuptial enquiries, which are compulsory.
You must each have certain documents:-

• baptism certificate of recent date, that is, within the last six months before the wedding
• confirmation certificate
• letter of freedom, that is, a certificate that you have not married before and are free to marry

If you are Catholic and marrying someone who is not a Catholic, arrangements are made by the priest in your parish. He will apply to the bishop for permission (if your partner is baptised), or for a dispensation (if your partner is not baptised).
If your partner is not a Catholic they should present a baptism certificate (if baptised), and proof of freedom to marry should be presented. This can be in the form of a letter from, for example, parents or a minister, or an affidavit from a solicitor.
In all cases, the priest acts as a civil registrar and he registers the marriage with the registrar of marriages.

Other denominations

Members of other denominations, including Baptists, Brethren, Congregationalists, Free Presbyterians, Methodists, Salvation Army, must obtain a registrar's certificate or licence as for a civil wedding, as the church official are not authorised by the state to issue certificates or licences.
Where you or your partner is Baptist, Congregationalist, or Methodist, you may also proceed by obtaining a special licence from the governing body of your church. Couples should ask a minister of the relevant denomination for details. A fee is usually payable to the governing body, the amount being decided by that body. Marriages by special licence may be celebrated at any time and at any place in Ireland.

Jewish marriages

After giving notice to the Superintendent Registrar or Registrar in Northern Ireland, a marriage can take place in any synagogue, private house or other place as long as you and your partner are Jewish and the ceremony is held under the auspices of a synagogue which has a Secretary for Marriages appointed by the Registrar General. The marriage must be registered by the Secretary of the husband’s synagogue. The marriage can only proceed under a registrar's certificate in Northern Ireland.

Marriages in the Society of Friends

A marriage ceremony in the Society of Friends (Quakers) requires the approval of the Registering Officer of the Society of Friends acting for the meeting concerned. It must take place in the Meeting House or another place regularly used for worship.

Marriages in all other religions

In all other religions, religious marriage ceremonies can take place but the couple must first give notice to the Superintendent Registrar, or Registrar in Northern Ireland, at the local Register Office. The Superintendent Registrar, or Registrar in Northern Ireland, will know whether the building in which the ceremony is to take place has been registered. If the building has not been registered, the couple can still have a religious ceremony, but will also need to have a separate civil ceremony for the marriage to be valid under United Kingdom Law.
If the building is registered, an authorised person must be present at the ceremony to register the marriage. They will give the couple a marriage certificate on receipt of the fee. If there is no authorised person, the attendance of a Registrar is necessary and this should be arranged with the Superintendent or Registrar in Northern Ireland of the district.

Religious ceremonies and civil ceremonies

If a couple has been married in a Register Office in England, Wales or Northern Ireland, the partners can have a religious marriage ceremony afterwards. The partners are likely to be asked for their marriage certificate. A religious ceremony which does not comply with the conditions stated above and which takes place before a civil wedding is not a valid marriage under United Kingdom law and the couple’s status will be that of cohabitees.
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Marrying outside England, Wales and Northern Ireland

If you want to get married outside England and Wales you will need to follow the procedure of the law in that country. Advice will be needed from a lawyer.
A Citizens Advice Bureau, can give brief information about marrying in other parts of the United Kingdom. To search for details of your nearest CAB, including those that can give advice by e-mail, click on nearest CAB.
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Marrying in England or Wales if one partner lives elsewhere

If one partner lives in Scotland or in Northern Ireland, the marriage can take place in England or Wales but certain procedures must be followed. If one partner lives outside the United Kingdom, the marriage cannot take place until that partner has arrived in England or Wales and fulfilled the necessary residence qualifications.
For more information about marrying in England or Wales if one partner lives elsewhere, you should consult an experienced adviser, for example, at a Citizens Advice Bureau. To search for details of your nearest CAB, including those that can give advice by e-mail, click on nearest CAB.
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Overseas recognition of United Kingdom marriages

A legally valid marriage performed in England, Wales or Northern Ireland is recognised in many other countries. However, confirmation should be sought from the embassy of the country concerned.
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Marriages by proxy

A marriage by proxy is one where one or both partners are not physically present at the ceremony. Marriages taking place under United Kingdom law are not valid if they are by proxy. However, United Kingdom law may in some circumstances consider a proxy marriage to be valid if both of the partners are ‘domiciled’ in a country which recognises marriages by proxy. The concept of ‘domicile’ is very complicated. If you need to know about the validity of a marriage by proxy you will need to seek specialist legal advice.
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Polygamous marriages

A polygamous marriage is one where a man can marry more than one wife. A polygamous marriage between partners, one or both of whom are domiciled in England, Wales or Northern Ireland is not valid. The concept of ‘domicile’ is very complex and does not necessarily mean ‘living in’ a country.
If you need to know about the validity of a polygamous marriage, you should seek specialist legal advice. An experienced adviser, for example, at a Citizens Advice Bureau may be able to help you find specialist legal advice. To search for details of your nearest CAB, including those that can give advice by e-mail, click on nearest CAB.
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Marriages which are not valid

Certain marriages are treated as if they never took place. These are called void marriages. They are marriages which do not meet the requirements of United Kingdom law. An example of a void marriage is one where the partners may not marry because they are related.
Some marriages may have met the requirements of United Kingdom law when they took place but may then be annulled. These are called voidable marriages. There are a number of situations where marriages are considered voidable, for example if one partner has been granted a full gender recognition certificate (see under Transsexual people), or if one of the partners did not give valid consent to the marriage because the consent was given under duress. Either partner can seek to annul the marriage but if neither partner does, the marriage will be valid.
If you need to know more about voidable marriages, you will need to seek specialist advice. An experienced adviser, for example, at a Citizens Advice Bureau may be able to help you find specialist legal advice. To search for details of your nearest CAB, including those that can give advice by e-mail, click on nearest CAB.
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Making a marriage legally valid

If you have been married in a way that is not recognised as valid in the United Kingdom, the marriage can take place again according to United Kingdom law provided that both you and your partner meet the requirements described earlier.
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Bigamy

If you marry in the United Kingdom and are already legally married, the marriage will be bigamous and therefore is void. Although it is a criminal offence to marry someone when you are already married, prosecution is not automatic.
If you who think you may be about to enter into a bigamous marriage you should seek advice from a specialist solicitor. An experienced adviser, for example, at a Citizens Advice Bureau may be able to help you find a specialist solicitor. To search for details of your nearest CAB, including those that can give advice by e-mail, click on nearest CAB.
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Remarriage/second marriage

As long as the legal requirements described earlier are met, there is nothing to prevent you from marrying again in a civil ceremony in the UK if you are widowed or divorced or if you were in a civil partnership that has been dissolved.
Religions have different rules about whether someone can remarry in a religious ceremony. If you or your partner has been married before, or has been in a civil partnership that is now dissolved, and you want a religious ceremony, you will need to check with an official of the relevant religion.
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Blessing ceremonies

Even if you are not allowed to marry in a religious ceremony, for example, because you belong to a religion that does not permit marriage of people who are divorced, it may be possible to arrange for your relationship to be blessed in a religious ceremony. This is at the discretion of the religious official concerned.
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Forced marriages

It is a criminal offence to force a person to marry under duress. If you are afraid that you may be forced into a marriage in this country, the police should be contacted. This is also the case where there is concern that another person may be forced into a marriage. This is also the case if you are concerned that someone else may be forced into a marriage.
There is also a civil procedure to prevent forced marriages, and to help people who have already been forced into marriage.
If you are the victim of a forced marriage or the friend of someone who is the victim of a forced marriage, you can apply to court for a Forced Marriage Protection Order. This order forbids families from:

• taking you abroad for marriage
• taking your passports away
• intimidating you.

It can also require family members to reveal where you are.  The police can also apply for a Forced Marriage Protection Order.  If someone breaks the order, they could be sent to prison for up to two years.
If you are the victim of a forced marriage, or if you know someone who is being forced into marriage, get legal advice as soon as you can. You may get legal aid.
Also, if you are afraid that you may be forced into marriage overseas, you should, before travelling, contact the address below for advice. If you are concerned about someone else who has travelled overseas, you should also contact this address.
Forced Marriage Unit
Foreign and Commonwealth Office
Old Admiralty Building
London SW1A 2PA
Tel: 020 7008 0151
Email: fmu@fco.gov.uk
Website: www.fco.gov.uk (follow the links to Travel advice, What we can do to help and Forced marriages)
You can also contact the Honour Network, a helpline for victims of forced marriages and honour crimes. The helpline number is: 0800 5999 247.

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Marriage
Ralph Griggs

Monday

The online marriage prep course has moved to a new site.

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Got to the link below to see the outline for the marriage course:

http://marriagepreparationonline.com/outline-for-the-marriage-prep-guide/

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Home Affairs Committee publishes report on Forced Marriage

Forced Marriage

17 May 2011

In a report published today, the Home Affairs Committee criticises the lack of progress made by successive Government towards addressing the concerns raised by its predecessor Committee in 2008.

Forced marriage remains an issue that affects thousands of young people in the UK—the Committee welcomes the fact that more at-risk individuals are coming forward to seek help but warns that there is insufficient support available to them, and that this situation is set to worsen with many specialist services particularly at risk from spending cuts.

• Report: Forced Marriage
• Home Affairs Committee

The Committee is pleased with the relatively high take-up of Forced Marriage Protection Orders—293 issued between November 2008 and February 2011—but disappointed at a lack of agency follow-up to ensure compliance. In the rare instances where breaches are discovered, not enough action is taken, with only one individual jailed. It recommends that the Government, while maintaining this civil route, also criminalises forced marriage, as the Prime Minister promised to consider while in Opposition. This would send a stronger message that forced marriage will not be tolerated.
Our predecessors found that many school authorities were reluctant to take action to protect their pupils against forced marriage, in part because they feared accusations of racism. Evidence to the Committee suggests this situation has not changed: it therefore urges the Secretary of State to take a more pro-active approach to remind schools of their statutory responsibilities on an annual basis and make use of the inspection regime to improve performance.
The Committee has repeatedly raised the plight of estranged or abused partners who are under pressure from their families to sign a request for their spouses to have indefinite leave to remain in the UK, or who simply want to be kept informed of the progress of their spouse’s application, but are refused this information by the UK Border Agency because of data protection. During its inquiry, the Information Commission confirmed that there are situations in which data protection considerations can legitimately be overridden and the Committee therefore urges the UK Border Agency to encourage staff to use their discretion in these kinds of cases.
Rt. Hon Keith Vaz, Chairman of the Committee said:

"Forced Marriage is a serious issue that affects some of the most vulnerable individuals in the UK. I am very disappointed that progress on protection and awareness remains slow. I am also concerned that a loss of specialist support services due to spending cuts will stunt further progress.

We believe that the best way to deter people from forcing individuals into marriage is through criminalising forced marriage. Taking this bold step alongside providing a range of services supporting victims of violence and raising awareness in schools must be a priority for the Government. There should be zero tolerance of this harmful activity that ruins the lives of so many."

Further Information

• About Parliament: Select Committees
• Topics: Marriage

England and Wales Marriage Certificate Information

The author, Barbara Dixon , can be emailed.

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Introduction

To understand some of the current complexities of marriage in this country it is necessary to understand some of the historical background. Marriages in this country (until very recently) fell into one of six categories. The four most commonly occurring ones were marriages

1. in the Established Church (Church of England in England, the Church in Wales in Wales),
2. in a Register Office
3. in a non-conformist Church
4. by Jewish or Quaker ceremony.

These tutorials - while much of the information will be the same for these four - are specifically about marriages in Register Offices, Non-conformist Churches and those of Quakers and Jews as the Established Church has always taken total responsibility for its marriages and I am not entirely familiar with the fine detail.
The way in which the process of marriage shall take place was laid down in Hardwicke's Marriage Act of 1754. This Act laid down that marriages (with the exception of Quakers and Jews) could only take place in the Parish Church and were either by banns or by licence. They had to take place between the hours of 8am and 12 noon (remember poor Fanny in Far from the Madding Crowd who went to the wrong church and got to the right one after midday?!) This was later extended from 8am to 3pm and finally to the current hours of 8am to 6pm.
Marriage by banns meant that a couple had to be resident in the parish for one week before the banns could be read, banns had to be written into a banns notice book and were either called in the church or proclaimed in a public place such as a market. The total process thus took one month from the start of residency to the completion of banns when the marriage could take place. Notice that the couple (or individual) only had to be resident for that one week - it was not necessary to be resident for the whole month. A huge number of couples used this loophole to have a marriage in a place other than the one they truly lived in and they married in other places for a variety of reasons ranging from wanting to be married in a particularly pretty church, to wanting to return to their parents area, to wanting to keep the marriage hidden from the people who would know them (and they couldn't afford the licence fee).
I do not know the specific requirements for marriage by licence that were laid down at the same time but the marriages also had to be written in to the marriage licence book.
All marriages including Catholic and other non-conformist ones had to be performed in the parish church with the exception of the Quakers and the Jews. The reason for the exception of the last two groups was twofold. Firstly neither group was baptised in the Christian faith, the Jews for obvious reasons and the Quakers because they believed that each man could communicate himself with God and it was not necessary to have an intermediary. Secondly both groups did not believe that a specific building was necessary for the practice of their religion. The Jews only require 10 members of the synagogue and the Ark of the Covenant to be present and the Quakers only need 2 people gathered together in Christ's name for there to be a religious gathering. Quakers and Jews were therefore exempt from the rule that marriages had to be performed in the parish church - helped no doubt by their outstanding record keeping and thorough investigation by their societies into the bride and grooms marital status and relationship to one another and reasons for marriage. While most of their marriages did in fact take place in a Synagogue or Meeting House they did not have to and it was perfectly possible for the marriage to take place in a private house or other building of their choice. 250 years later while the place of marriage has been widened to include a large number of other secular buildings it is still not possible for the vast majority of people to get married in any building they choose (only registered ones) and they certainly can't get married outside.
This was the legal basis of marriage in 1837 and still remains essentially the same today. Marriages may be in the Church of England in which case all the legal preliminaries are made by the Church, and the marriage is solemnized in a Church. The only difference that the 1837 introduction of registration made to the Established Church was that it now had to keep two identical registers one of which stays with the Church authorities when completed and the other is given to the Superintendent Registrar.
Marriages may be entirely civil with notice given to the Superintendent Registrar(s) of the district(s) in which the parties lived. Until 2000, there was still the dual system of 1 weeks residency followed by 3 weeks in which the notice is displayed (for any legal objections to marriage to be made) or of 15 days residency by one party followed by the issue of the licence for marriage after one clear working day. Saturday is a working day in this respect but all Sundays, Christmas Day, Good Friday and Easter Sunday are not. From the start of 2000, marriage by licence (except in the Church of England) was abolished and now all parties have to give 15 days clear notice of marriage. Only under exceptional circumstances can this period of notice be waived.
Marriages may take place in a non-conformist church that has been registered for marriages in which case all the preliminaries will take place as stated above but the actual marriage would be in a church.
Marriages may take place anywhere for Quakers and Jews after the proper civil preliminaries have been made.
The fifth type of marriage is reserved for the housebound or detained. If someone is too ill to be moved, or is in prison and cannot be allowed to go to a register office for a marriage then it is possible, after the proper civil preliminaries and various other extra ones too (such as evidence from a doctor about the health of the housebound) for the marriage to take place at a private home or in an institution or prison.
Lastly there are marriages by Registrar General's licence. These are reserved for the dying when all the usual preliminaries are waived and the marriage may take place at any place at any time of the day or night once permission from GRO has been obtained.
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Heading

The first heading is for the registration district and this is the name you will find in the indexes at St Catherines (or Myddleton Place from 1st April 1997). Registration districts were not split into sub-districts for the purposes of marriage and a rural district could be extremely large - even in the past some of the registration districts could cover an enormous area. The point is that you have to remember that the name of the registration district will not coincide with the name(s) of the town or village that the couple were living in and indeed the name of the registration district could even be from an adjoining county (see the earlier tutorial on births).
The next heading reads (with slight variations over the years) "Marriage solemnized at ........(1)........... in the District of .....(2)................ in the County of.....(3)............" or "Marriage solemnized at.............(4)..................in the Parish of .....(5)..............in the County of.......(3)............" (Church of England marriages only)
(1) this could read something such as The Register Office or The Baptist Church, High Street or a private address (rare)
(2) this will be a repeat of the registration district name given in the heading above
(3) this will be Surrey or York or whatever
(4) this will say something like the Parish Church of St Matthews
(5) this will be the parish name such as St Matthews
The heading there needs to be checked with the line immediately below the groom and brides details. There are 6 possible variations here
(1) Church of England/The Church in Wales " Married in the parish church (or a chapel name) according to the rites and ceremonies of the established church (or the Church of England or in the Church in Wales) " or some similar wording.
(2) All other non-conformist churches or other religious groups (except Quakers or Jews) "Married in the ................according to the rites and ceremonies of ......................." Look carefully at this line because the religious denomination shown in the top heading does not have to be the same as the one shown underneath the entry. So you could get an entry which reads "Marriage solemnized at the Baptist Church, Queen Street " at the top and has "according to the rites of ceremonies of the Presbyterians" underneath. Provided that the religious building is registered for marriages, any denomination may hold a marriage there after the proper legal preliminaries and with a registrar or authorised person present. Small religious denominations without their own registered building or with a building too small for a marriage might do this.
You can get rarities such as "Marriage solemnized at the .............." at the top and that bit only repeated without the "according to the rites and ceremonies" bit underneath. That would happen if the minister failed to show up at the wedding - the register or authorised person would do the legally binding parts of the ceremony and the couple would be legally married but it would not be by the rites and ceremonies of the religious group even though the marriage had been in a church.
(3) "Married at 4 The High Street" according to the rites and ceremonies of the Quakers (or Jews)or "Married at Braeside House........"etc. Quakers and Jews might have a marriage ceremony in a registered building in which case 2 would apply but they could equally get married in a private residence or hotel. If you have a private address as the place of marriage you need to check whether this is indeed because it was a Quaker or Jewish marriage or whether you have a deathbed marriage or a marriage of detained or housebound people.
(4) "Married in the Register Office......" There will be no further qualifications to this
(5) "Married at St Thomas Hospital (or a private address) according to the rites and ceremonies of.............." either a non-conformist denomination or Established Church together with the ceremony being conducted according to the Registrar General's licence means it was deathbed marriage
(6) "Married at ......(private address)" together with "according to the rites and ceremonies of" but without mention of the Registrar General means a marriage of people actually taking place in the prison or mental institution where one of them is detained or in the private home of a housebound person.
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Entry Number

The first unnumbered column on the certificate is simply the entry number in the book. It can be any number between 1 and 500. These days churches etc have a book that is commensurate with the number of marriages performed - so a small church that only does one marriage in a blue moon will only have a marriage book of 10 entries while the marriage register for a popular church in a large parish or catchment will have as many as 500 entries. The church will have two identical registers and when they are complete one book is deposited with the superintendent registrar and the other is kept by the church authorities and may finish up in the county record office or in the local church.
Some small chapels were issued with 500 entry registers in 1837 and still have not completed them so it is quite possible for a superintendent registrar (SR) to have no record of the marriages in a church in their district (another reason why it is better to apply for your marriages certificates from GRO who receive copies every quarter, rather that the local SR).
The entry number in the marriage book has nothing to do with the GRO reference in their indexes.
The first numbered column - Column 1 - is the date of the marriage. The marriage entry is the only record that is completed at the time of the event and there is no separate date for the registration as there is for births and deaths. It should be recorded in the form "Twentyseventh March 1997" but the early records are written in many different forms such as 7th August 1876 or May 9 1900 or November the thirteenth 1854. There is no time given for the marriage but marriage was only legal between the hours of 8am and 12 noon at the start of registration and from 8am to 3pm until fairly recently. It is still only legal between 8am and 6pm.
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Names of Bride and Groom

Column two is the name and surname of the bride and groom at the date of the marriage. Those last 6 words are crucial - the name used at the date of marriage is not necessarily the one on the birth certificate of the bride or groom. These days the words "Name changed by Deed Poll" or "formerly known as ................." or "otherwise" indicate that the bride or groom has changed their name since birth but that is a fairly recent phenomenon. In the past, the bride or groom were simply asked for the names they were known by. Remember that it was not necessary to produce any proof of the use of a name.
Names were changed in all sorts of ways. One of the most common would be by the bride or groom using a stepfathers surname. Or a person might use a mothers maiden name or indeed a name chosen at random because they didn't like the one they were born with or because they wanted their original identity hidden for a variety of reasons.
First names also frequently changed - the child named Albert Henry is always known as James for some reason and that is the name he marries in.
In theory it should be possible to use the column showing fathers name and surname as a guide to the original surname of the bride or groom but fathers details too are not always accurate.
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Age at the Date of Marriage

The next column shows the age at the date of marriage. There are all sorts of problems here. First of all the information is only as accurate as the bride or groom cared to make it - remember that unless the bride or groom appeared to be under the age of consent they were not asked for proof of their age or identity.
There are many instances when the age was "massaged" to make it a little more palatable! Brides who were older than their grooms often "lost" a few years or grooms who were younger "acquired" a few. Some people genuinely wouldn't know precisely how old they were.
Unfortunately some marriage registers simply state "of full age" which tells you nothing except that the bride and/or groom were aged 21 or over and could have been anything from 21 to 80+ - not terribly helpful. It was always possible for a bride under 21 to add a few years if she thought she could get away with it so that she did not require the consent of her family.
In the past, at the age of 21 a man or a woman was considered old enough to give their own consent to their own marriage. Under that age, the consent of the parent(s) or the legal gaurdians or the court was required. Parents of people under the age of consent were notified separately that a notice of marriage of their child had been taken - giving them time to object to the marriage if they should wish. If one or both parents objected and stated so (no reasons need be given) then the marriage cannot take place until the bride or groom reaches the age of their own consent. Technically, a marriage of a couple who should have had consent of parents and have married without it is not legal.
The age at which a person could marry and at which they would require consent has changed since 1837. Then marriage could be at 12 for a girl and 14 for a boy, but consent of parent(s) was required for both up to the age of 21. In 1926 the age of marriage for both parties was raised to 16 but consent for both was still required until 21. Now, the age at which people can marry is still 16 but the age for consent has been lowered to 18.
The only exception to the requirement for consent was for a second marriage before the age of 21 ie if a bride/groom had married once with consent of parents and had been widowed they could marry the second time without consent of parents. I thought that the logic of that was - if they had tried it once and still wanted to do it again....! but in fact it stems round the fact that once a woman has married, her father no longer has legal status with regard to consent, and so she can give her own consent to her own marriage.
Marriage before the legal age is invalid.
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Marital Status

The fifth column shows the marital status at the time of the marriage. The most commonly occurring ones in the last century were bachelor or spinster or widow or widower.
You have to remember that it is not possible to prove that someone has not married - it is very easy to prove that someone has been married and also that a marriage has ended in the death of one of the partners or in divorce. There are relevant papers to show these events but there is nothing which exists to show that someone has not married. If a man or woman states that they have not been married, then they have to be taken to be speaking the truth.
Unfortunately there is, equally, nothing to stop them from lying! And plenty of bigamous marriages to show how easy it is to lie.
No matter how old they are, any woman who has not previously been married is entered as a spinster and any man not previously married is a bachelor.
It is also possible for a man or woman to be stated to be a bachelor or a spinster when there has been a previous marriage. If a person had been previously married and that marriage was void or voidable then they would revert to the marital status previously existing. So someone whose first marriage was void or annulled would be entered as bachelor or spinster on their second marriage.
A marriage would be void if a legal impediment to the marriage existed ie one of the following a) one of the parties was under age b) the marriage was within the forbidden degrees of relationship c) the marriage was between two people of the same sex d) there was an existing legal marriage for one of the parties
The age of consent has changed over the years and the degrees of forbidden relationship have also changed with time. At present (and in the past) it is forbidden for a man to marry his mother or adopted mother, grandmother, daughter or adopted daughter, niece, granddaughter, aunt, or sister, and the equivalent relationships are banned for a woman. It may be possible now for a couple to marry within the boundaries of step and in-law relationships depending on circumstances but these were forbidden in the past: eg it is now legal (since 1912) to marry a brother or sister in law (good thing Gilbert and Sullivan weren't writing their operas today!)
(Incidentally, it is assumed in law that the innocent party IS innocent and did not knowingly contract an unlawful marriage).
Before August 1971 a person whose marriage was voidable and had been annulled would also have reverted to their previously existing marital status at their next marriage. Since that date the marital status would be "previous marriage annulled". A voidable marriage is one which meets the legal requirements but which the court has annulled. A marriage is voidable if there is an inability or wilful refusal by one party to consummate the marriage, if one of the parties is deemed to be mentally incapable of understanding the purport and meaning of marriage (this could be from mental handicap or from mental illness - temporary or otherwise) or if the bridegroom had married the bride believing her to be carrying his child when she had deliberately misled him. This last example would be of a marriage under duress and if either party is forced into marriage under duress that is also a voidable marriage. None of these marriages HAVE to be annulled - the grounds exist for an annulment if one of couple wish to end the marriage but they don't HAVE to eg if a couple are both quite happy in an unconsummated marriage that is their affair, and mentally handicapped people are not barred from marriage if their families/carers feel this is an appropriate step for them (but the family of a wealthy heiress might try to have a marriage annulled on the grounds of mental instability if they felt that their emotionally unstable daughter had been talked into a marriage by a fortune hunter).
In this century increasing numbers of brides and grooms have "previous marriage dissolved" as their marital status (this was shown as "previously the wife/husband of ....... in the early part of this century). In the last century, divorce was immensely expensive as each divorce required an individual act of parliament to dissolve it and was also considered a great scandal. Few couples therefore were divorced and anyone in a marriage that was effectively finished but could not be dissolved would either have to admit the truth to a new partner and the couple live together as husband and wife without going through any legal ceremony or had to lie to a new partner and go through a bigamous marriage.
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Occupation

The next column shows the occupation at the time of marriage. A line through this column does not necessarily mean that the bride or groom was not in employment. In the last century most women did not have an occupation shown on a marriage certificate even when most women worked. Only paid employment is shown and only acceptable occupations so you would not find burgular or prostitute! Sometimes the bride or groom makes the occupation sound grander than it was in fact but on other occasions the bride or groom has made less of it.
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Address

The address at the time of the marriage can often be a misleading column. Except for a couple having a Jewish or Quaker marriage for whom totally different rules apply, when a couple wanted to get married one of them had to

1. live in the parish for a C of E wedding
2. live in the district in which the nonconformist church was situated

But there where two exceptions.
If a couple lived in one parish/district but regularly worshipped at a church in a different parish/district then they could get married in that church while still living at their real addresses if one of them was on the electoral roll for a C of E church or could state that the nonconformist church was where they usually worshipped (and the Minister would agree that was so if approached). I have known a bride state that her usual place of worship was a Methodist chapel 300 miles away - she rarely went to church but when she did, that was the church she attended and she didn't go anywhere else -it was therefore her usual place of worship.
Or if a couple wanted a marriage in a denomination for which there was no church/building in either of their districts, then the couple could nominate the specific church of the correct denomination where they wished to get married (and this did not necessarily have to be the one nearest to either of their districts). eg the nearest Greek Orthodox church to me is 20 miles away and if I was Greek Orthodox then I could nominate that church for my marriage if I chose or I could nominate one that was 50 miles away if I preferred.
In general then the address of either the bride or groom will be close to the church they are marrying in but it does not have to be so - the registration district for the church may be many miles away from the bride/grooms address(es).
However, for a variety of reasons a couple might want to get married in a church or a register office which was not in the district in which they lived and they did not fall into one of the two exceptions mentioned above. The only way round that was to establish residency (for one or both of them) in the district in which they wanted to get married. All that was necessary was for one or both of them to go and live at an address for 7 days in the required registration district and at the end of the 7 days go and give notice of marriage (This information is correct for non-conformist marriages and marriages in the register office - I do not know about the specific rules of residency for Church of England marriages). They did not then have to stay at that address but could return to their usual address. In other words - having an address on a marriage certificate is not necessarily where the bride and/or groom usually lived.
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Name and Occupation of the Father of the Bride / Groom

The last two columns on the marriage certificate are the name of the father of the groom/bride and the father's occupation.
The man named in this column - with the exception of an adoptive father after 1926 - should be the natural father of the bride or groom. It should NOT be stepfather, godfather, mothers latest lover or anyone else.
If a bride or groom did not have her/his father named on their birth certificate that does not stop them being named on a marriage certificate. My illegitimate Joseph Edward Calvert (mother was Mary Calvert) named his father as Robert Twistleton when he - Joseph - got married. On the other hand my illegitimate David Culshaw (mother was Mary Culshaw) named a man also called David Culshaw as his father on the marriage certificate but I am sure this is a figment of David's imagination - he just did not want to see blanks on the marriage certificate.
On the other hand - if a bride or groom does not want her/his father shown on a marriage certificate they do not have to. The Times carried a half page on the recent marriage of Liam Gallagher and Patsy Kensit with a copy of their marriage certificate showing that Liam had refused to have his father's details on the marriage entry - apparently Liam and his father have not spoken for 20 years. And I have done a marriage where the groom refused to have his fathers details. His bride did not know who her father was and he insisted that if she had to have blanks for father then so would he.
If the father of the bride or a groom has died by the time of the marriage then it should say "deceased" under his name but this is not a very reliable item.
The last column is father's occupation. It should say "retired" if a father had reached retirement age but that was not an option for a lot of men in the past! Unfortunately when it was an option there are plenty of registers around which simply say retired. Where you are trying to sort out descent with fairly common names the fathers name and occupation can be a considerable help. For example I have two Thomas Bishops born within a year of one another getting married in Skipton, both with fathers called Thomas. The fact that one father was a tailor while the other was a nailmaker was the only way of sorting the two Thomas out.
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Rest Of The Certificate

Don't neglect to look at the rest of the marriage certificate because it can still tell you something.
Under the main entry are the words "Married in the......................".
For a C of E marriage it will say something on the lines of "Parish Church according to the rites and ceremonies of the Established Church".
For other non-conformist churches it will say something like "The Baptist Church according to the rites and ceremonies of the Baptists" or "The Catholic Church according to the rites and ceremonies of the Roman Catholics.
Quaker certificates say (after the place of the marriage) "according to the usages of the Society of Friends" and I believe that a Jewish marriage would state something on the same lines.
However - the rites and ceremonies bit does not have to match the denomination of the church. It is quite possible to have something along the lines of "Married in the Baptist Church according to the rites and ceremonies of the Seventh Day Adventists". In other words it is quite possible for one religious denomination to borrow another denominations church for a wedding - quite often done for small religious groups who do not have a building which is registered for marriages. A marriage like this will be registered in the marriage register of the building where it took place - there will not be a marriage register for the actual denomination of the ceremony.
It is also possible that it will simply state "Married in the Catholic Church of St Anthony" without the qualifying words stating whose rites and ceremonies were used. This would happen if the couple had given notice for a marriage - it was all fixed up with the proper minister and a registrar but on the day something went wrong such as the minister falling ill or getting held up in a snowstorm or something. If the registrar was present that registrar would do the ceremony as though in a register office with the legally binding declaration and contract and someone else could lead the congregation through hymns and prayers etc. but without the authorised minister it could not be "by the rites and ceremonies of".
The last part of the line under the main entry reads "by...................after or by me.
Filling the gap you might find
(1) "by certificate" which would be found on a marriage entry in a register office marriage register or in a non-conformist marriage register. It shows that the couple waited 3 weeks between giving notice and getting married.
(2) "by licence" which would be found in the same set of registers and would indicate that the couple may have married with less than three weeks between giving the notice and getting married (minimum of 1 clear working day). However - a licence lasts three months so the marriage wasn't necessarily done in a rush. It may have been easier to give only the one licence notice rather than the two that would have been needed for a marriage by certificate if the bride and groom lived in different districts.
(3) "after banns" which can only be found in a Church of England marriage. It is the equivalent of the certificate for the register office/non-conformist churches.
(4) "by common licence" which can only be found in a Church of England marriage. The licence has been issued by the Bishop for the diocese and I believe is the equivalent of the licence in a register office or non-conformist church.
(5) "by special licence" which can only be found in a Church of England marriage. The licence has been issued by the Archbishop not the Bishop. I believe that this would allow the couple to get married in a church which is not the usual parish church for either of them but I am not sure of this.
(6) "by Registrar Generals" which could be found on any marriage certificate except for one where the marriage was by the rites of the Church of England. It is issued when one of the couple is dying and it allows a marriage ceremony to take place at any location at any time of the day or night.
(7) "By superintendent registrars certificate" is a very rare finding. It is issued for a Church of England marriage but instead of banns being called in the church, notice of marriage has been given to the superintendent registrar. In the early days this would be necessary where services were held so infrequently e.g. in a small chapel,that it was not possible to call the banns on three succesive Sundays and get married all within the three months time limit. Later on it was sometimes used as an expedient if for some reason the vicar did not want to make the forthcoming marriage in the church public knowledge and have the entry in his banns book which anyone can look at. The sort of problem might be where a bride and groom were of different persuasions and the vicar either didn't want the congregtion in general to know or even the bride/grooms family if he thought they might try to disrupt the ceremony. It is sometimes used these days when one of the couple is divorced and the vicar does not want it generally known that he is marrying a divorcee in his church.
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Signatures

These should be the signature of the bride and groom and the witnesses. It is a pity that many C of E clergy insist on people writing their full names which of course is quite different from them signing their signatures. If you want to compare signatures to ensure you are looking at the correct bride or groom or whatever or to see if one person has been impersonating another , then a full name written out is not as useful as a proper signature.
The witnesses should be personally known to the bride or groom. After all their function is to witness in a court of law what they heard and saw at a marriage ceremony and it might be necessary to contact them at a later stage to witness on your behalf. However, some couples do use witnesses off the street that they do not know from Adam!
It is not necessary for a marriage register to be completed and signed for the marriage to be legal. The marriage is valid in law once the declaration and contract have been verbally made - hence the witnesses. There are no laws concerning the age of marriage witnesses - they need to be old enough to function properly as a witness that is all.
A marriage must be witnessed by 2 people, but it is perfectly possible to have more than 2 signing.
The certificate will be completed with the signature(s) of those taking the ceremony. There may be two signatures eg all Register Office marriages have 2 signatures which are those of the superintendent conducting the ceremony and that of the Registrar who is doing the registration. Non-conformist marriages might also have 2 in the same way. Church of England marriages would usually only have the one signature of the cleric who has both conducted the ceremony and completed the registration.
The certificate is completed with the date of issue of the certificate - which may be the same date if it is the one completed on the marriage day or could be a later date.
The last feature on a marriage certificate should be a line drawn through the space at the end of the certificate but outside the box containing all the details. The line indicates that there have been no corrections to the original entry. If it is the certificate completed on the day there should be a line drawn through this space. If a correction to the entry is made after the marriage then this is where the correct details will be shown.
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