Divorce and marriage

Less than there used to be

IF MARRIAGE has become so unpopular, why are fewer people choosing to leave their spouses? According to the statistics from the Office for National Statistics on February 17th, the number of divorces in England and Wales fell again in 2009, by 6.4% from the previous year. This is the sixth year in a row that they have dropped, leaving the figure-113,949-at its lowest since 1974.
The divorce rate declined too: to 10.5 divorcing people out of 1,000 married ones, its lowest since 1977.  The greatest number of break-ups was among people in their early 40s, the highest rate among those in their late 20s. Just under 100,000 children saw their parents split up, down from almost 150,000 in 1999.

Why are fewer people getting divorced, given all the economic stress and strain around? In part, because of that stress and strain: more redundancies and sagging house prices mean that it is not always possible financially to split into two households, even if you squabble unmercifully in one. The influx of immigrants from more traditional societies has helped, too, keeping divorce rates down and birth rates up. But the real reason is probably the decline of marriage.

Far fewer people than before are getting married, as everyone knows and the chart shows vividly. This suggests that the brave remnant who do choose to enter that uncool estate are pretty committed to it. And the fact that the average age at which people first marry has drifted up-to just over 32 for men and just under 30 for women in 2008, about three years older for both than even a decade ago-may also damp down divorce, as older people, so far at least, have proved less prone to calling it quits.

Statistics offer only the bare skeleton of the story; there are hundreds of thousands of personal reasons why people marry (or don’t) and divorce (or don’t). But they do suggest that attempts to cure social ills by chivvying people into marriage, as the Conservatives now in government have at times talked of doing, are wide of the mark  The more people marry, it could be argued, the higher divorce rates are likely to be.

Marriage After Divorce

Your church wishes you a lifetime of love that grows within God's protection. But we recognise that some marriages do fail for all sorts of sad and painful reasons.

So in certain circumstances the Church of England accepts that a divorced person may marry again and this has been the case since 2002.

There may be a way forward for you to remarry in a church, but you should talk to your Vicar about this. Every Vicar will want to help you, though there are some who don't feel able to offer a wedding to couples where one or both of the partners has been divorced. In any case your Vicar will want to talk frankly about your past and hopes for the future and will then be able to advise you.

Even if it is not possible to do your wedding, they may offer a service of prayer and dedication after a civil wedding. There are more resources about this on the Church of England web site.

Read about Andy and Katie's wedding. Andy had been married before, but the couple were married in church.

It was second time around for another couple, Andy and Emma, who decided to have a service of Thanksgiving for Marriage after their civil wedding. Read more.

Marriage Breakdown

Introduction
Where a couple agrees that the marriage is over, the divorce procedure is a straightforward process. It is often the arrangements for children and assets on divorce where the parties will apply for a court order to resolve their disputes. Marriage for the whole of the UK has been declining over the last decade according to the Office of National Statistics (ONS) from 349,700 marriages in 1991 to 291,800 marriages in 2002. Over this same period the divorce statistics show the rate has remained relatively steady with 173,500 divorces in 1991 reducing to 156,800 divorces in 2001 and 160,700 in 2002.

A breakdown in a marriage does not necessarily have to lead to divorce yet this route could have a dramatic effect on the spouses relationship with their children as well as their personal finances. An alternative to divorce is judicial separation and this would slow down the process and allow mediation to reduce the conflict. In certain situations it may be possible to apply for nullity of a marriage.

There are three parts of the divorce process starting with a legal procedure to end the marriage, secondly arrangements for any children of the marriage and thirdly ancillary relief proceedings that will decide the financial matters between the couple and as the step-by-step guide shows is a separate process to the divorce proceedings. The largest asset on divorce is usually the property and different orders can be applied to the matrimonial home by the court depending on the circumstances of the parties.


Divorce [step-by-step guide]
During divorce proceedings there are two decrees that the court must grant. Initially one of the parties known as the petitioner must apply to the court for a decree nisi, however before the divorce can be made final and the marriage ends the court must grant the decree absolute. In order to apply for a decree nisi the petitioner must have been married for over one year although since 1 March 2001 to proceed in England and Wales the individual has to established the criteria of jurisdiction. This involves showing that both parties or at least one spouse has habitually resident or domiciled in England and Wales of which there are a number of combinations that are acceptable for jurisdiction.

There is also a requirement for divorce to show that the marriage has irretrievably broken down, and to do this the person must establish one of five facts as proof:

•	Adultery of the other spouse;
•	Unreasonable behaviour of the other spouse;
•	Desertion by the other spouse after two years;
•	Separation with consent after two years;
•	Separation without consent after five years.

In about 70% of cases the divorce petitioner will cite adultery or unreasonable behaviour of the person, known as the respondent, in the petition. 

If the divorce is by way of agreement between the parties, then unreasonable behaviour would require only a brief outline of the behaviour so help to avoid further conflict. At the same time as the divorce petition a statement of arrangement would be filed at the court showing the proposed arrangements for any dependent children that are under 16 years of age or in full time education.

If the divorce petition includes false allegations it would be important for these to be challenged by the respondent as they could influence future contact with children and result in costs being awarded against the respondent. In divorce proceedings there are two decrees that must be applied for to end the marriage. Once the respondent has acknowledged the divorce petition the petitioner can apply for the decree nisi. When the court receives the application, a judge will review the papers to ensure they are in order including arrangements for any children, before giving the decree nisi can be granted. 

The petitioner will now have to wait 6 weeks and one day before applying for the final decree, the decree absolute. Once this has been granted the divorce is final and the marriage ends. At this point the parties are free to marry again. In terms of ancillary relief, although occasionally the couple can agree the allocation of maintenance and division of the matrimonial assets, completed before the decree absolute is granted, often a resolution will not be achieved until after the divorce is finalised and the step-by-step guide shows how this separate legal process works.


Judicial separation
In judicial separation proceedings the partner will obtain from the court a decree of judicial separation and this means a legal separation of the partners although they will still be married but not have to live together. This is different from divorce where the decree nisi followed by the decree absolute is required before the proceedings are final. 

A decree of judicial separation will only be granted, as with a divorce petition, on the grounds that the marriage has irretrievably broken down. The partner must prove:

•	Adultery of the other partner;
•	Unreasonable behaviour of the other partner;
•	Desertion by the other partner after two years;
•	Separation with consent after two years;
•	Separation without consent after five years.

As with nullity, judicial separation can be granted within 12 months of the marriage. However, before the court grants a decree of judicial separation it will have to establish that the arrangements the partners have made for the children, if any, are acceptable to the court.

Judicial separation will allow the partners to apply for a court order to settle disputes of children, matrimonial property or financial matters during ancillary relief proceedings.

For ancillary relief proceedings an earmarking order against the members pension rights within a pension arrangement of the other partner, however, a pension sharing order will only apply to divorce or nullity.


Nullity
A marriage can be annulled if for any reason it is not valid and this can be done by the presentation of a nullity petition. Once the court has issued the partner a decree of nullity, there are no further requirements to end the marriage as with divorce which requires the decree nisi followed by the decree absolute. It would then be possible to apply for a court order settling disputes over children, matrimonial assets or financial matters during ancillary relief proceedings including the granting of a pension sharing order or earmarking order against the members pension rights from a pension arrangement of a partner. 

A marriage can be annulled where:

•	It has not been consummated, that is where partners have not had sex while being married;
•	The partners are inter-married, meaning a marriage of close relatives;
•	At the time of the marriage one of the partners was already married to someone else;
•	One of the partners was under the age of 16 at the time of the marriage;
•	A partner at the time of the marriage had a venereal disease and the other partner was not aware of this at the time;
•	The partner at the time of marriage was pregnant with another persons child which the other partner was not aware of at that time.

As with judicial separation a presentation for nullity can be granted within 12 months of the marriage but must be presented within a reasonable time.


Arrangements for children
At the time of the petition for divorce, the petitioner and respondent will have to agree as to the arrangements for the children. This should be shown in the statement of arrangements for any children under 16 years of age or in full time employment, although if agreement is not reached it will not prevent the divorce from proceeding to the next stage. 

The parties are obligated to maintain their children until they cease to be dependent and this is a responsibility that cannot be brought to an end. In term of the financial matters the Child Support Agency can be expected to try to obtain maintenance from the former spouse, usually the husband, for the children even if the parent responsible for the children declines to claim for maintenance. It is worth noting that children themselves have the right to apply for maintenance. 

In most circumstances the court would have regard to achieving a clean break for a couple on divorce. However, this may not be desired where a wife with responsibility for the children has no source of income yet the husband is a high earner. In this case the court would seek a continued link through an order for continuing maintenance.


Future procedure
The current law for couples in England and Wales is based on the principle of fault based divorce, meaning that the petitioner is married for at least one year and is required to prove one fact from five that the marriage has irretrievably broken down. The Family Law Act 1996 (FLA 96) would bring significant changes by introducing, in part II, no fault divorce. 

This means that no grounds will have to be shown as to why the marriage has irretrievably broken down by the petitioner when submitting a divorce petition. The Act would promote mediation, which is designed to reduce acrimony between the parties. Information meetings would allow for this mediation and a statement of marital breakdown would be produced 3 months after and once submitted to the court, this would mark the start of divorce proceedings.

A period of reflection would then start and last 9 months after which time both parties could then apply for divorce or judicial separation. In December 2000 the government announced that the FLA 96 would, in part, be postponed probably for several years.

Marriage And Divorce

Marriage, Divorce and Adoption Statistics (Series FM2)	Product
	This reference volume has now been replaced by a series of separate releases for each of the marriage, divorce and adoption topics. The releases contain detailed information on each topic and can be accessed from the links below. View more information about this product   These National Statistics are produced to high professional standards and released according to the arrangements approved by the UK Statistics Authority. Office for National Statistics (ONS), Annual, ISBN=9781857746471, ISSN=14665816, Online edition, Contact: +44 (0)1329 444110 Outcome of marriage, divorce and adoption statistics review and lookup file for new tables (79Kb - Pdf) Marriage, Divorce and Adoption Statistics - Series FM2 2007 (886Kb - Pdf) Marriage, Divorce and Adoption Statistics - Series FM2 2006 (2.7Mb - Pdf) Marriage, Divorce and Adoption Statistics - Series FM2 2005 (2.2Mb - Pdf) Marriage, Divorce and Adoption Statistics - Series FM2 2004 (1.6Mb - Pdf) Marriage, Divorce and Adoption Statistics - Series FM2 2003 (1.3Mb - Pdf) Marriage, Divorce and Adoption Statistics - Series FM2 2002 (1.2Mb - Pdf) Marriage, Divorce and Adoption Statistics - Series FM2 2001 (958Kb - Pdf) Marriage, Divorce and Adoption Statistics - Series FM2 2000 (1.2Mb - Pdf) Marriage, Divorce and Adoption Statistics - Series FM2 1999 (1.1Mb - Pdf) Historic marriage tables (242Kb - Zip) Historic adoption tables (93Kb - Xls) Marriages: latest data (Web link) Divorces: latest data (Web link) Adoptions: latest data (Web link)

Divorce - A Biblical Perspective

Critical Perspectives: Divorce - A Biblical Perspective

by Eric Thurman
PhD Candidate
Drew University
Madison, NJ


In an age when marriage, once considered the bedrock of society, has tumbled from its position of moral prominence, and the divorce rate (among Christians as well) has skyrocketed, it seems that the Church has, for the most part, stood impotently looking on, unwilling or unable to tackle the thorny issues surrounding divorce. Many who are involved in divorce themselves, or seek to help others, who are, query what the Bible has to say on the subject of separation and divorce.

Biblical Teachings on Separation and Divorce

Divorce is discussed directly in a number of New Testament texts, but perhaps the most important ones are Matthew 5:31,32 (along with 19:1-12) and 1 Corinthians 7:10-15. In the Matthew texts, the Greek word apoluo is used. The term Apoluo, however, carries a broader range of meaning than the English word “divorce,” and most of its occurrences in the New Testament are along the lines of "release, set free, send away, and acquit." Matthew uses the term about seventeen times and in most of those instances it means either "to send away," as in sending away crowds, or "to release" as in releasing a prisoner (see Matthew 14:15, 22, 23; 15:23, 32, 39; 18:27; 27:15, 17, 21, 26).

Other uses in Matthew, however, refer specifically to divorce because of the phrasing of apoluo gynaika, to divorce a wife. This is the case not only in 5:31,32, but also in 19:3, 8, 9. (See also Mark 10:2, 11; Luke 16:18). In addition, the context of Matthew 19:3-9 makes it fairly certain that legal divorce, not separation, is the subject throughout the entire exchange between Jesus and the Pharisees. As they do elsewhere, the Pharisees seek to "test" Jesus and his understanding of the Law (19:3).

Marriage, Ordained by God

Matthew’s Jesus, in the discussion of marriage and divorce at 19:1-12: “And it came to pass, that when Jesus had finished these sayings, he departed from Galilee, and came into the coasts of Judaea beyond Jordan; And great multitudes followed him; and he healed them there. The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away. He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry. But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it”, appeals to Genesis 2, 3 as the divine intention for marriage. So, it is understandable that in his debate with the Pharisees, Jesus interprets Deuteronomy 24:1-4: “When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife. And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife; Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance”. This passage says that a man may divorce his wife if he finds “something objectionable” about her, by stating that the Deuteronomic allowance for divorce was introduced only as a pragmatic concession. Perhaps like another early Jewish teacher, Rabbi Shammai, Matthew’s Jesus limits what a man may find “objectionable” to what in the Greek is called porneia. Many translations render this word as “unchastity” in this passage and “sexual immorality” in other contexts, although its precise meaning is a constant point of debate.

A Legal Loophole?

Thus, in his dialogue with the Pharisees, the more accurate interpretation is that Jesus limits justifiable divorce only to cases of sexual infidelity of some kind. Some scholars have suggested that Matthew himself has added the clause “except for porneia” to Jesus’ original teaching as a kind of concession as well, since other New Testament texts on divorce, like Mark 10:2-12, do not have Jesus naming this exception.

Within the Bible alone, the term porneia can range in use from “incest” (1 Corinthians 5:1), “adultery” (Jeremiah 3:9), “prostitution” (Matthew 21:31,32; Luke 15:30; 1 Corinthians 6:13-18), and even “idolatry” in a metaphorical sense (Revelation 17:1-5, 15,16). Since there is a more specific Greek term for adultery, moicheia, which Matthew uses elsewhere separately from porniea (see 15:19), its meaning at 5:31,32 may invoke a more general sense of sexual immorality.

Therefore, if Jesus held such a strict view of divorce, and even if those who attempted to qualify his stance allowed divorce only for instances of sexual infidelity, it is certain that Jesus, his Jewish dialogue partners, and his Christian interpreters would all agree that having sex with, much less actually marrying, another woman while married–separated or not–would amount to adultery.

Pauline Thinking on Divorce

In chapter seven of his first letter to the Corinthians, the apostle Paul uses two different terms for divorce. In 7:10,11, 15 one finds xorizo and in 7:11-13, aphiami is used. Some have suggested that while aphiami here means legal divorce, xorizo simply means separation. Since the command attributed to Jesus at vv.10,11 uses both verbs, and since that command is likely based on a tradition like the one found in Matthew 5:31,32 and 19:3-9, it is difficult to make a sharp distinction between legal divorce and informal separation.

Paul may very well be alluding to such a strict (and possibly original) saying of Jesus forbidding divorce at 1 Corinthians 7:10,11. Here, too, although Paul may be parenthetically qualifying this teaching at v.11, by allowing for divorce without remarriage, he explicitly qualifies Jesus’ teaching in vv.12-15 in light of a situation that Jesus did not address. If a believer and an unbeliever are married, they should remain so, says Paul, unless the unbeliever wishes for a divorce. In that case, the believer is under no obligation and is free to remarry. Therefore, with these two central New Testament texts on marriage and divorce, one encounters two different grounds for divorce.

Modern Thought

Early church theologians, by and large, leaned toward the teaching of Matthew’s Jesus, even going beyond it to the extent that they forbade remarriage even in the case of a legitimate divorce. Such stricture is not implied in the New Testament texts which assume that a lawful divorce allows lawful remarriage to another. Modern churches, of course, differ in their interpretations of the New Testament and their criteria for permissible divorce. Likewise, different churches may have different criteria for what counts as “proof” of infidelity.

For Further Reading

Divorce in the New Testament, by Raymond F. Collins (Liturgical Press, 2002)

Getting Marriage Right, by David P. Gushee (Baker Books, 2004)

Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage, by Kenneth E. Hagin (Faith Library Publications, 2001)

Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage in the Bible, by Jay Edward Adams (Zondervan,1980)

Marriage Made in Eden: A Pre-Modern Perspective for a Post-Christian World, by Alice P. Mathews, M. Gay Hubbard (Baker Books, 2004)

Resolving Conflict in Marriage, by Darrell L. Hines (Whitaker House, 2001)

The Marriage You’ve Always Wanted, by Tim Clinton, Julie Clinton (Word Publishing 2000)

How to Survive Infidelity

The question I am most frequently asked by visitors to this web site is "how can I survive my spouse's affair?" After having counseled thousands of couples with hundreds of marital conflicts, I am completely convinced that a spouse's unfaithfulness is the most painful experience that can be inflicted in marriage. Those I've counseled who have Infidelity Video Click to watch had the tragic misfortune of having experienced rape, physical abuse, sexual abuse of their children, and infidelity have consistently reported to me that their spouse's unfaithfulness was their very worst experience. To be convinced of the devastating impact of infidelity, you only need to go through it once. And yet, more than 50% of all spouses are victims of infidelity, which means that one spouse in most marriages will suffer the greatest marital pain possible at some time during their lifetimes. It's no wonder that I receive so many letters from these victims of unfaithfulness. Coping with Infidelity, Part 1: How Do Affairs Begin? Affairs usually begin with an attraction to someone you know fairly well, someone you spend time with each week -- your friends or co-workers. To illustrate how affairs develop, I post letters from two women, one who is tempted to have an affair with her husband's best friend, and another whose best friend had an affair with her husband. Coping with Infidelity, Part 2: How Should Affairs End? There are three parts to the way affairs should end. The first part is revealing the affair to one's spouse, the second part is never seeing or communicating with the lover again, and the third part is getting through the symptoms of withdrawal after a permanent separation takes place. I post two letters to illustrate these three parts to how an affair should end. Coping with Infidelity, Part 3: Restoring the Marital Relationship. Since an affair does not usually end the way it should, with complete separation from the lover, you may not find this column entirely relevant to you. In your case, your spouse's lover may still be a factor, and you will want to know how to restore your marital relationship with your spouse's lover standing in the wings. If you are in that position, I have addressed that topic in two other columns that I review below: "What to Do with an Unfaithful Husband" and "What to Do with an Unfaithful Wife." In short, it's hard enough to restore a martial relationship when a lover is finally out of the picture. But it's impossible when the lover is still hanging around. Coping with Infidelity, Part 4: Overcoming Resentment. You might think that after a husband and wife rebuild their love for each other after an affair, all would be forgiven. Well, all might be forgiven, but all's not forgotten. In fact, many couples find that the memory of the affair haunts them decades after it happened. I post three letters to illustrate what a problem resentment is for many people, and I explain how to handle it so that it doesn't ruin a successful recovery. Four Rules to Guide Marital Recovery After an Affair. After the lover is finally gone and you are ready to restore love to your marriage, where should you begin? This column explains the rules I suggest for couples recovering from an affair. Technically, they are the very rules that I recommend in any marriage, because they guarantee mutual love when they are followed. What to Do with an Unfaithful Husband. Altogether, this column contains five letters and my responses to them, written by women who have recently discovered their husband's unfaithfulness. There is some redundancy in the questions and answers, but if you have suffered from your husband's infidelity, you will want to gain from the experience of as many other people as possible. What to Do with an Unfaithful Wife. As with the unfaithful husband column, five letters from husbands, and my responses to them, are posted. Escaping the Jaws of Infidelity: How to Avoid an Affair. There are many of you who are having an affair, but want to know how to get out of it in one piece. And then there are even more of you who want to know how to avoid it in the first place. In this column I post letters from two women who are having affairs and want out of the mess they've created. I also address the issue of avoiding the mess in the first place by protecting your spouse from your unfaithful predisposition. We all have it, you know -- a predisposition to be unfaithful. Given certain conditions, we can all have affairs, destroying the happiness of our spouse, our children, our extended families, our lover, and ourselves. Those conditions should be avoided at all costs, don't you think? The Lover's Perspective on Infidelity. The spouses of those who have affairs are not the only victims of infidelity. The lovers can also be victims. This column addresses the anguish experienced by women who present the lover's perspective. How Can I recover My Sexual Desire for My Husband After My Affair? A column somewhat related to the lover's perspective, this column treats the issue of sexual recovery for the one who had the affair, but now wants to restore passion to her marriage. Infidelity on the Internet. I receive an alarming number of letters each week by those whose spouses have fallen in love with someone on the internet. This form of infidelity is particularly common among those who have become addicted to internet communication. You know who you are. If your spouse wants you to leave the computer and come to bed, and you say, "just a minute," you're one of them. Can't We Just Forgive and Forget? Infidelity is a devastating experience. And yet, most couples who go though it recover. How do they overcome the horrible memories of an affair after reconciliation? In this column, I explain my controversial position that "just compensation" is more reasonable than forgiveness when it comes to infidelity. What to Do When You (or Your Spouse) Become Pregnant with a Lover's Child. Infidelity has tragic consequences. Not only does unfaithfulness itself cause untold emotional suffering for a victimized spouse, but affairs create a host of other problems, too. One example of these problems is venereal disease -- when an unfaithful spouse is infected, which is often the case, the disease is usually passed on to the unsuspecting marriage partner. Another example is the topic of this Q&A column -- pregnancy with a lover's child. This column considers the choices these women face, and what I recommend. Their husbands also have hard choices to make, and my advice is for them, too.

Most Popular Links • The Marriage Builders� Discussion Forum • How to Survive Infidelity • The Most Important Emotional Needs • Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts • Coping with Infidelity: Part 1 - How Do Affairs Begin? • A Summary of Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts • Love Busters • The Emotional Needs Questionnaire • Q&A Columns

Getting married

This information applies to England, Wales and Northern Ireland

• Who can get married
• Getting engaged
• Where can a marriage take place
• How to marry
• Marrying outside England, Wales and Northern Ireland
• Marrying in England or Wales if one partner lives elsewhere
• Overseas recognition of United Kingdom marriages
• Marriages by proxy
• Polygamous marriages
• Marriages which are not valid
• Making a marriage legally valid
• Bigamy
• Remarriage/second marriage
• Blessing ceremonies
• Forced marriages

Who can get married

According to the law of the United Kingdom, a man and a woman may marry if they are both 16 years or over and free to marry, that is, if they are single, widowed or divorced, or if they were in a civil partnership which has been dissolved.
In the United Kingdom people cannot marry if they are:-

• aged 16 or 17 who do not have parental consent - see below
• people of the same sex. However, a same-sex couple can register a civil partnership instead, which will give the partners many, if not all, the rights of married couples. For transsexual people, the relevant gender is the one on their current birth certificate – see below
• certain relatives - see below.

Young people

If you are 16 or 17 you cannot marry without parental consent. Each parent with parental responsibility is entitled to give parental consent. In some circumstances, other people may give parental consent. In Northern Ireland a young person under 18 cannot marry without the consent of certain people.
For more information about who can give parental consent, you should consult an experienced adviser, for example, at a Citizens Advice Bureau. To search for details of your nearest CAB, including those that can give advice by email, click on nearest CAB.

Transsexual people

A transsexual person who has applied for and has been granted a full gender recognition certificate by the Gender Recognition Panel can get a new birth certificate which reflects their acquired gender. They will then be able to marry someone of the opposite gender to their acquired gender. However, if a transsexual person does not have a gender recognition certificate, they are legally considered to be the gender that is on their original birth certificate. They will not be able to marry someone of the opposite gender to their acquired gender.
For more information about getting a gender recognition certificate, see Frequently asked questions about family matters.

Relatives who may not marry

The following people cannot marry, in any circumstances, because of their blood relationship.

Men cannot marry:-	Women cannot marry:-
Grandmother	Grandfather
Mother	Father
mother's sister	father's brother
mother's half sister	father's half brother
father's sister	mother's brother
father's half-sister	mother's half-brother
adoptive mother - see below	apdoptive father - see below
Sister	Brother
half-sister	half-brother
Daughter	Son
adoptive daughter - see below	adpoted son - see below
sister's daughter	sister's son
half-sister's daughter	half-sister's son
brother's daughter	brother's son
half-brother's daughter	half-brother's son
Granddaughter	Grandson

Adopted children and their genetic parents and genetic grandparents may not marry. If they do, the marriage will be automatically void (see under heading Marriages which are not valid) even if they do not know they are related. Adopted children may not marry their adoptive parents but they are allowed to marry the rest of their adoptive family, including their adoptive brother or sister.
People who are step relations or in-laws may marry only in certain circumstances.
For information about when step relations and in-laws can marry, you should consult an experienced adviser, for example, at a Citizens Advice Bureau. To search for details of your nearest CAB, including those that can give advice by email, click on nearest CAB.
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Getting engaged

Engagements are mainly for cultural reasons and have limited status. However, they can be used, for example, in immigration law as evidence of intention to marry.
One of the parties can decide to end an engagement as an agreement to marry cannot be legally enforced. If an engagement is broken, a woman can keep the engagement ring unless, at the time she was given it, the man specifically said that it should be returned if the engagement were broken. Any other property belonging to the couple should be divided between them in the same way as property would be divided if the couple divorced. If the couple cannot agree about entitlement to property, either person can apply to a court to decide the issue, provided this is done within three years of the end of the engagement. Legal advice will be needed in these circumstances.
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Where can a marriage take place

A marriage can take place in:-

• a Register Office
• a church of the Church of England, Church in Wales, Church of Ireland, Presbyterian or Roman Catholic Church in N. Ireland
• a synagogue or any other private place if both partners are Jewish
• a Meeting House if one or both partners are either members of the Society of Friends or are associated with the Society by attending meetings
• any other religious building provided that the person marrying the couple is registered by the Registrar General - see under  Religious marriage ceremonies (England and Wales only)
• premises approved by the local authority - see under Religious marriage ceremonies (England and Wales only)
• a place where one partner is seriously ill and not expected to recover
• the home of one of the partners if the partner is housebound, for example, has serious disabilities or is agoraphobic
• a hospital, if one of the partners is unable to leave or is detained there as a psychiatric inpatient
• a prison, if one partner is a prisoner.

Local authority approved premises (England and Wales only)

Local authorities in England and Wales may approve premises other than Register Offices where civil marriages may take place. Applications for approval must be made by the owner or trustee of the building, not the couple.
The premises must be regularly open to members of the public, so private homes are unlikely to be approved, since they are not normally open to the public. Stately homes, hotels and civic buildings are likely to be thought suitable. Approval will not be given for open air venues, such as moonlit beaches or golf courses. Generally, the premises will need to be permanent built structures, although it may be possible for approval to be given to a permanently moored, publicly open boat. Hot air balloons or aeroplanes will not be approved.
If you want to get married in local authority approved premises you should obtain a list of premises from the local town hall. Or you can search for approved premises on the General Register Office's website at: www.gro.gov.uk.
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How to marry

You can get married by a civil ceremony or a religious ceremony.
In both cases, the following legal requirements must be met:-

• the marriage must be conducted by a person or in the presence of a person authorised to register marriages in the district
• the marriage must be entered in the marriage register and signed by both parties, two witnesses, the person who conducted the ceremony and, if that person is not authorised to register marriages, the person who is registering the marriage.

Civil marriage ceremonies

You and your partner must give notice of marriage in your local Register Office, whether or not you wish to marry in that district. The Superintendent Registrar or Registrar in Northern Ireland then issues authority for the marriage and you may marry in any Register Office or local authority approved premises in any district.
If either you or your partner is from overseas, special rules may apply when giving notice to marry. If so, you should consult an experienced adviser, for example, at a Citizens Advice Bureau. To search for details of your nearest CAB, including those that can give advice by e-mail, click on nearest CAB.
In the period between the notice of intention to marry and the ceremony, anyone with strong grounds for objecting to the marriage can do so. Making a false statement is a criminal offence.
In England and Wales, both partners must be resident in England or Wales for seven days before notice is given (on the eighth day). A notice must state where the marriage is to take place. The marriage can then take place after 15 days have elapsed from the date on which notice of the marriage is entered in the marriage notice book. The fee for giving notice of the marriage is £33.50 per person. There is no requirement for the 15 day notice period if the one of the partners has been issued with a gender recognition certificate and was previously the civil partner of the person who they wish to marry. In this case, notice of the marriage and the marriage itself can happen on the same day.
In Northern Ireland, a marriage licence is called a marriage schedule. Couples do not need to have been resident in the country before getting married, provided they apply for notice from the General Register Office.
If you and your partner are visiting Northern Ireland to be married and are citizens of a country that is not a member of the European Economic Area, you may need to enclose special documentation.
Couples must submit their completed marriage notice forms and any other relevant documents to the Registrar of Marriages in the district where the marriage is to take place.
It is normal to give eight weeks notice. However, you can give a minimum of 14 days notice, although this may mean that the wedding ceremony will have to be postponed. The registrar will issue a marriage schedule. You won't be able to get married without this. If you are having a religious ceremony, this must take place within 14 days of receiving the schedule. In addition to this, the schedule must be signed at the religious ceremony by the person performing the marriage.
The marriage must take place within 12 months from the date of entry of the notice (three months if one of you is housebound, detained or resident in Scotland or Northern Ireland). If the marriage does not take place within that time, the process must be repeated.

Procedure for marrying

You and your partner will be asked for certain information when giving notice of your intention to marry. Giving false information is a criminal offence. The information which may be required is:-

• evidence of name and address
• evidence of date of birth
• if one partner has been married before or in a civil partnership, documentary evidence that the marriage or civil partnership has ended, for example, a death certificate or decree absolute. Uncertified photocopies are not accepted. A certified copy of a decree absolute may be obtained from the court which decided the divorce. This can take about a week
• evidence of nationality.

A variety of documents can be used as evidence of the information required, but a passport, travel document or birth certificate is usually sufficient. You should contact the register office where you're getting married for more specific advice on what they will accept.
People from overseas may be asked to show their passports. There is no legal requirement to show a passport before getting married and instead, they can produce a birth certificate (accompanied by a certified translation if necessary), an affidavit or other personal identity document.
If you are travelling to the UK to marry either a British citizen or an EEA national, you will need a visa. This is called entry clearance).  This will be either a fiancé(e) visa if you are not an EEA national or an EEA Family Permit if you are an EEA national.
People who wish to marry in the UK in a Register office in England and Wales must give notice at a Register Office. If you are subject to immigration control, you can only give notice at a Designated Register Office in England and Wales. In Scotland and N Ireland, notice is given by post.  Everyone wishing to marry in a Register Office must provide proof of their nationality.
You are subject to Immigration Control if you are not:

• a British citizen (or someone with right of abode in the UK) or
• an EEA national or
• don't have any conditions attached to your stay in the UK because you are for example, a diplomat, or a member of visiting armed forces.

For more information on coming to the UK to marry, go to the UK Border Agency website at www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk.
If the registrar believes that a person is entering or has entered into a marriage for immigration purposes, the registrar has a duty to report this to the Home Office Border and Immigration Agency. The registrar must provide the Home Office Border and Immigration Agency with certain information, including the marital status and nationality of the person.
The marriage ceremony in the local Register Office or local authority approved premises will take approximately 10-15 minutes. The Superintendent Registrar or Registrar in Northern Ireland will make a short statement about marriage; you can ask the registrar beforehand to indicate what form of words will be used. It is not possible to use religious words in the civil ceremony. However, the ceremony may include readings, songs or music that contain reference to a god as long as they are in an 'essentially non-religious context'.
Each partner is required to repeat a standard set of promises. These may not be changed, but may be added to, as long as the additions are not religious. Rings are not required but can be exchanged if the couple wishes to.
After the ceremony, the marriage register is signed by both partners. Two witnesses, who must be over 16, must also sign at the time of the marriage. Witnesses must understand the language of the ceremony and have the mental capacity to understand the nature of the ceremony. Register Office staff are not allowed to act as witnesses.
Before signing the register, you should check the information in the entry is correct. It is possible to get incorrect information in the register on marriage certificates changed if there is proof that the errors were notified at the time of the marriage. When trying to correct information at a later stage, you will have to explain in writing how the incorrect information came to be recorded at the time of the marriage and may need to provide documentary evidence to prove any statements. The process may take a long time.
A fee must be paid for the ceremony. A certified copy of the entry in the register may be obtained at the time of the marriage for a fee. Additional copies may be obtained for a further fee.
For details of the fees, contact your local Register Office or Citizens Advice Bureau. To search for details of your local CAB, including those that can give e-mail advice, click on nearest CAB.

Religious marriage ceremonies (England and Wales only)

The Church of England and the Church in Wales are allowed to register a marriage at the same time as performing the religious ceremony.
Ministers and priests of all other religions can be authorised to register marriages and must have a certificate or licence to do so from the local Superintendent Registrar. For Jewish and Quaker marriages, the authorisation is automatic. For all other religions, if the official performing the ceremony is not authorised, either a Registrar must attend the religious ceremony or the partners will need to have separate religious and civic ceremonies.

Marriages in the Church of England and Church in Wales

Instead of going to the Superintendent Registrar before the ceremony, banns (a notice of the proposed marriage) can be read in the parish church of each of the partners and in the church where it has been agreed the marriage can take place. Banns must be read on three Sundays before the ceremony.
In England, in some cases, the vicar may advise that you need to apply to the Church of England for a licence instead of using the banns procedure. You can find out more about getting married in the Church of England on the Church of England website at www.yourchurchwedding.org.

Religious marriage ceremonies in Northern Ireland

Church of Ireland

You can be married in the Church of Ireland by one of three methods. These are:-
Licence – If you or your partner is a member of the Church of Ireland (or any other Protestant Episcopal Church i.e. Anglican), you may give notice to a Church of Ireland licensing minister that you wish to be married in a Church of Ireland church within your own district. Either you or your partner must have been living in the district for seven days before notice is given. The licenser will notify the clergy of the churches that you and your partner attend. Seven days after the licenser is notified, an oath will be administered to either you or your partner to the effect that one of you has lived for the past fourteen days within the district attached to the Church in which you intend to marry, and grant the licence. Any Church of Ireland clergyman will be able to provide you with the address of a licensing minister.
Special licence – If you or your partner is a member of the Church of Ireland (or any other Protestant Episcopal Church), a Bishop of the Church of Ireland may grant a special licence. This will allow the marriage to take place at any time and any place within his diocese. A special licence is useful where you and your partner have forgotten to give the required notice to a licenser, or wish to marry somewhere other than a church
Banns – If both you and your partner are members of the Church of Ireland, banns may be read out for three consecutive Sundays in the churches of which they are members, instead of applying for a licence. Seven days notice to the minister(s) may be required. The marriage ceremony must take place in the church (or one of the churches) in which the banns have been published.

Presbyterian

You may be married by the same three methods in the various Presbyterian churches (excluding Free Presbyterians):-
Licence – If both you or your partner is Presbyterian, a licence may be granted by a licensing minister. You or your partner must give the licencing minister a certificate from the minister of your congregation, stating you have been a member of that congregation for at least one month. Immediately before the licence is granted, you must make an Oath that you have lived within the Presbytery for the preceding 15 days. A congregational minister will able to put clients in touch with a licensing minister.
Special licence – A special licence authorising marriage at any time and any place within Ireland may be granted by the Moderator of the Church, as long as you or your partner is a Presbyterian. This method is useful if you have forgotten to give the necessary notice or have your normal residence outside Northern Ireland.
Banns – If both you and your partner are Presbyterians, banns may be published in each of your congregations on the three Sundays preceding the marriage, instead of obtaining a licence. Six days notice is required by the minister before the banns are due to be read out for the first time. The marriage must take place in a church (or one of the churches) in which the banns have been published.

Roman Catholic Church

Arrangements for a wedding in a Catholic Church are always made through the priest in the parish in which you are living. Three months notice must be given to the priest.
Pre-marriage preparation courses, which you and your partner must attend, are held by Accord, formerly the Catholic Marriage Advisory Council (CMAC). There are centres in Belfast, Ballymena and Downpatrick. Details of the courses will be available to the priest.
If you are both Catholics you should approach the priest of the bride's parish to arrange a date. If you are both from the same parish, the priest in that parish does the preparations for you both, including the pre-nuptial enquiries, which are compulsory.
You must each have certain documents:-

• baptism certificate of recent date, that is, within the last six months before the wedding
• confirmation certificate
• letter of freedom, that is, a certificate that you have not married before and are free to marry

If you are Catholic and marrying someone who is not a Catholic, arrangements are made by the priest in your parish. He will apply to the bishop for permission (if your partner is baptised), or for a dispensation (if your partner is not baptised).
If your partner is not a Catholic they should present a baptism certificate (if baptised), and proof of freedom to marry should be presented. This can be in the form of a letter from, for example, parents or a minister, or an affidavit from a solicitor.
In all cases, the priest acts as a civil registrar and he registers the marriage with the registrar of marriages.

Other denominations

Members of other denominations, including Baptists, Brethren, Congregationalists, Free Presbyterians, Methodists, Salvation Army, must obtain a registrar's certificate or licence as for a civil wedding, as the church official are not authorised by the state to issue certificates or licences.
Where you or your partner is Baptist, Congregationalist, or Methodist, you may also proceed by obtaining a special licence from the governing body of your church. Couples should ask a minister of the relevant denomination for details. A fee is usually payable to the governing body, the amount being decided by that body. Marriages by special licence may be celebrated at any time and at any place in Ireland.

Jewish marriages

After giving notice to the Superintendent Registrar or Registrar in Northern Ireland, a marriage can take place in any synagogue, private house or other place as long as you and your partner are Jewish and the ceremony is held under the auspices of a synagogue which has a Secretary for Marriages appointed by the Registrar General. The marriage must be registered by the Secretary of the husband’s synagogue. The marriage can only proceed under a registrar's certificate in Northern Ireland.

Marriages in the Society of Friends

A marriage ceremony in the Society of Friends (Quakers) requires the approval of the Registering Officer of the Society of Friends acting for the meeting concerned. It must take place in the Meeting House or another place regularly used for worship.

Marriages in all other religions

In all other religions, religious marriage ceremonies can take place but the couple must first give notice to the Superintendent Registrar, or Registrar in Northern Ireland, at the local Register Office. The Superintendent Registrar, or Registrar in Northern Ireland, will know whether the building in which the ceremony is to take place has been registered. If the building has not been registered, the couple can still have a religious ceremony, but will also need to have a separate civil ceremony for the marriage to be valid under United Kingdom Law.
If the building is registered, an authorised person must be present at the ceremony to register the marriage. They will give the couple a marriage certificate on receipt of the fee. If there is no authorised person, the attendance of a Registrar is necessary and this should be arranged with the Superintendent or Registrar in Northern Ireland of the district.

Religious ceremonies and civil ceremonies

If a couple has been married in a Register Office in England, Wales or Northern Ireland, the partners can have a religious marriage ceremony afterwards. The partners are likely to be asked for their marriage certificate. A religious ceremony which does not comply with the conditions stated above and which takes place before a civil wedding is not a valid marriage under United Kingdom law and the couple’s status will be that of cohabitees.
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Marrying outside England, Wales and Northern Ireland

If you want to get married outside England and Wales you will need to follow the procedure of the law in that country. Advice will be needed from a lawyer.
A Citizens Advice Bureau, can give brief information about marrying in other parts of the United Kingdom. To search for details of your nearest CAB, including those that can give advice by e-mail, click on nearest CAB.
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Marrying in England or Wales if one partner lives elsewhere

If one partner lives in Scotland or in Northern Ireland, the marriage can take place in England or Wales but certain procedures must be followed. If one partner lives outside the United Kingdom, the marriage cannot take place until that partner has arrived in England or Wales and fulfilled the necessary residence qualifications.
For more information about marrying in England or Wales if one partner lives elsewhere, you should consult an experienced adviser, for example, at a Citizens Advice Bureau. To search for details of your nearest CAB, including those that can give advice by e-mail, click on nearest CAB.
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Overseas recognition of United Kingdom marriages

A legally valid marriage performed in England, Wales or Northern Ireland is recognised in many other countries. However, confirmation should be sought from the embassy of the country concerned.
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Marriages by proxy

A marriage by proxy is one where one or both partners are not physically present at the ceremony. Marriages taking place under United Kingdom law are not valid if they are by proxy. However, United Kingdom law may in some circumstances consider a proxy marriage to be valid if both of the partners are ‘domiciled’ in a country which recognises marriages by proxy. The concept of ‘domicile’ is very complicated. If you need to know about the validity of a marriage by proxy you will need to seek specialist legal advice.
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Polygamous marriages

A polygamous marriage is one where a man can marry more than one wife. A polygamous marriage between partners, one or both of whom are domiciled in England, Wales or Northern Ireland is not valid. The concept of ‘domicile’ is very complex and does not necessarily mean ‘living in’ a country.
If you need to know about the validity of a polygamous marriage, you should seek specialist legal advice. An experienced adviser, for example, at a Citizens Advice Bureau may be able to help you find specialist legal advice. To search for details of your nearest CAB, including those that can give advice by e-mail, click on nearest CAB.
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Marriages which are not valid

Certain marriages are treated as if they never took place. These are called void marriages. They are marriages which do not meet the requirements of United Kingdom law. An example of a void marriage is one where the partners may not marry because they are related.
Some marriages may have met the requirements of United Kingdom law when they took place but may then be annulled. These are called voidable marriages. There are a number of situations where marriages are considered voidable, for example if one partner has been granted a full gender recognition certificate (see under Transsexual people), or if one of the partners did not give valid consent to the marriage because the consent was given under duress. Either partner can seek to annul the marriage but if neither partner does, the marriage will be valid.
If you need to know more about voidable marriages, you will need to seek specialist advice. An experienced adviser, for example, at a Citizens Advice Bureau may be able to help you find specialist legal advice. To search for details of your nearest CAB, including those that can give advice by e-mail, click on nearest CAB.
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Making a marriage legally valid

If you have been married in a way that is not recognised as valid in the United Kingdom, the marriage can take place again according to United Kingdom law provided that both you and your partner meet the requirements described earlier.
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Bigamy

If you marry in the United Kingdom and are already legally married, the marriage will be bigamous and therefore is void. Although it is a criminal offence to marry someone when you are already married, prosecution is not automatic.
If you who think you may be about to enter into a bigamous marriage you should seek advice from a specialist solicitor. An experienced adviser, for example, at a Citizens Advice Bureau may be able to help you find a specialist solicitor. To search for details of your nearest CAB, including those that can give advice by e-mail, click on nearest CAB.
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Remarriage/second marriage

As long as the legal requirements described earlier are met, there is nothing to prevent you from marrying again in a civil ceremony in the UK if you are widowed or divorced or if you were in a civil partnership that has been dissolved.
Religions have different rules about whether someone can remarry in a religious ceremony. If you or your partner has been married before, or has been in a civil partnership that is now dissolved, and you want a religious ceremony, you will need to check with an official of the relevant religion.
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Blessing ceremonies

Even if you are not allowed to marry in a religious ceremony, for example, because you belong to a religion that does not permit marriage of people who are divorced, it may be possible to arrange for your relationship to be blessed in a religious ceremony. This is at the discretion of the religious official concerned.
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Forced marriages

It is a criminal offence to force a person to marry under duress. If you are afraid that you may be forced into a marriage in this country, the police should be contacted. This is also the case where there is concern that another person may be forced into a marriage. This is also the case if you are concerned that someone else may be forced into a marriage.
There is also a civil procedure to prevent forced marriages, and to help people who have already been forced into marriage.
If you are the victim of a forced marriage or the friend of someone who is the victim of a forced marriage, you can apply to court for a Forced Marriage Protection Order. This order forbids families from:

• taking you abroad for marriage
• taking your passports away
• intimidating you.

It can also require family members to reveal where you are.  The police can also apply for a Forced Marriage Protection Order.  If someone breaks the order, they could be sent to prison for up to two years.
If you are the victim of a forced marriage, or if you know someone who is being forced into marriage, get legal advice as soon as you can. You may get legal aid.
Also, if you are afraid that you may be forced into marriage overseas, you should, before travelling, contact the address below for advice. If you are concerned about someone else who has travelled overseas, you should also contact this address.
Forced Marriage Unit
Foreign and Commonwealth Office
Old Admiralty Building
London SW1A 2PA
Tel: 020 7008 0151
Email: fmu@fco.gov.uk
Website: www.fco.gov.uk (follow the links to Travel advice, What we can do to help and Forced marriages)
You can also contact the Honour Network, a helpline for victims of forced marriages and honour crimes. The helpline number is: 0800 5999 247.